86 DAYS CLEANWe regretted the past, dreaded the future, and weren’t too thrilled about the present.
Basic Text, p. 7
Just for today:
When I live fully in each moment, I open myself to joys that might otherwise escape me. If I am having trouble, I will ask a loving God for help.

Hello and God Bless You.

I am learning to live in the moment. I realize that there are times that I am either living in the past or thinking too much about the future. When I am living in the past I tend to lose sight of all the progress that I am making and have already made up to this point in my recovery. I begin to regress and start getting those old too familiarly feelings of self pity, worthlessness, helplessness and low self esteem. Before long I would be depressed and feeling like giving up.

When I am living in the future I have a very bad habit of predicting doom. No matter what the vision or dream or thought is the outcome is always disastrous. I cannot think about the future too long without whatever good that is happening turning into some kind of tragedy. I find myself waking up sometimes in the middle of the night sweating because of a dream of relapse, jail, death or some other bad thing happening. It is not a good thing either way.

I try very hard to stay in the here and now. It can be difficult at times but I do not get frustrated when I find myself drifting because I know that this is new territory for me and it is a process. I used to expect change to happen over night and then get upset when I didn’t see any progress. Not anymore I have finally accepted the fact that I am a addict with a disease that has no known cure but can however be arrested and recovery is indeed possible. I have been doing the same things over and over for so long I would have to truly be insane to think that change is going to happen just because I try it once or twice. It takes work and it is work that I am more than willing to do. I am a work in progress and I am making progress. I love myself just for today. I don’t know what tomorrow is going to bring but I will find out when tomorrow gets here.

So just for today I will give myself a break and take it slow. If I have to I will take it one minute at a time but I will take it. God is in control and I am living his will. I am not dwelling on the past and I am not thinking about the future. Living in the now.

Thank you for reading today’s blog.

As always feel free to comment below, join my blog or sign up for email notifications.

Peace and Blessings.





As I sit here and type on my phone,  I am in the Radiology department of the hospital waiting for an x-ray to be taken on my hip. I have been having difficulty moving sometimes and been having a sharp pain for some time. I told my doctor about it and he told me that I should have it x-ray so here I am.

I have also been informed by my doctor that I have high blood pressure and cholesterol and I should lose some weight. I am at 221lbs the most I have ever weighed. I don’t feel overweight although I do need to lose my gut. Soda, fast food and fried foods among other things have to be eliminated from my diet.

I was in a funk all week because of not smoking as much and now this.

I don’t want to get worse so I will take my doctors advice and change my eating habits. It’s time to get addicted to healthy habits. I will also begin to do some exercise. I have never really paid much attention to my health. While using being healthy isn’t exactly on the top 5 things to do. But I am not using anymore so now its time to become responsible in all areas of my life..

Not Just In My Recovery.

Peace and Blessings

Eric Ease