HAPPY 6 YEAR ANNIVERSARY FROM STRUGGLE TO STRENGTH

Wow. It’s been 6 years since I wrote my first blog post on November 17, 2011. Since that time a lot has happened. I can honestly say that I have grown. I have shared my journey from active addiction into recovery.

My struggle with staying clean in my beginnings has given me strength and a shot of hope on numerous occasions. I love to go back and read my earlier posts, especially when I am feeling down and my addiction is trying to rob me of my sense of accomplishment. I sometimes have to remind myself that I have come a long way and reading old posts helps me to see how far I have truly come. I remember vividly the tough times I had in the beginning and how I felt like I couldn’t stay clean. I often share how I thought that I was going to die a addict. I no longer feel that way and I think it is important for others to understand that they too can get and stay clean.

I was talking with a friend of mine today about my journey as a new comer and how I made my recovery a lot harder than it had to be. You see I used for so long that I brain washed myself into thinking that there was no way out. I believed the lies that I told myself for so long. I never in a million years would have thought that I could ever live the life that I am living right now.

My journey has taught me many things, but the one thing that I cling to is R. I. P. It stands for Recovery Is Possible. If you would’ve asked me all through my addiction I would have said the obvious. Rest In Peace. I wanted the latter so badly when I was using. I couldn’t take the pain anymore. I wanted a way out and contemplated suicide on many occasions. But my Higher Power saw fit to grant me a way out. I am forever grateful.

I started this blog as a way for me to vent and write my feelings whether good or bad. I never meant for it to be publicly viewed, to meet others in recovery or to make so many new friends, but I did. I am thankful to everyone who has supported me and encouraged me with their comments, suggestions, thoughts, opinions and advice throughout the years. You all have played a major role in my journey and am honored to have you all in my network.

My blog is 6 and I am 4 years clean just this past October 26 and I am blessed to still be here.

One day at a time.

Peace and blessings.

Eric Ease

STINKING THINKING

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I wish I could say that I changed my thinking and now I am cured. Ha!  That would be like that dude from TV who was an addict for 10 years and now he’s not.

What I can say is I practice changing the way I think and I have noticed a tremendous change in the way I live. The way I choose to go about my days. The way I respond to people and the way they respond to me. I can also say that my life has gotten a whole lot better but I still have those days. You know the days when I get the fuck it’s. The days when I just don’t want to do the right thing. My thinking is upside down and will always be subject to cause chaos.. If I allow myself to dwell on those negative thoughts.

It’s all about making decisions. Trying to make the right decisions. Not using my thinking as an excuse to do wrong but rather taking responsibility to do right. I have plenty of days when my thoughts run wild and fear sets in and I begin to feel awkward, alone and doubtful.  The difference is today I am learning that at any given moment. I can turn those thoughts around.

I have a choice. I exercise my option to choose to do things differently. I choose not to be that same person I was yesterday. I choose to explore and try a new way. I am grateful that I have the opportunity to do so. My old thinking almost cost me my life. My new thinking afforded me the opportunity for a better life.

Peace and Blessings

Eric Ease