I’ve been missing in action lately. I’ve been feeling worn out, tiredness and lazy. I know thats a result of what I have been through in the last year. I have to admit that being strong and resilient is hard work. I’m not nor will I ever give up. I’m just exhausted mentally and physically. But I must remember that I have to keep moving my feet. I cannot afford to get complacent. I know that this too shall pass. I am a fighter. I will get back on track starting from this point forward. Staying connected is a priority
I have been blessed to have been brought to recovery. My higher power guided me to the rooms and guides me along the way on this journey. Recovery is something that I will not take lightly or for granted. Recovery saved my life. But I had to do some work and have to continue to do the work in order to keep what I have. I am grateful for the network of amazing people who I have met along this path. I would not trade this way of life for nothing.
Life is full of ups and downs. It’s not about what happens to me but more about how I respond to what has happened to me. No matter how you look at it life is wonderful and full of many blessings. Some good and some not so much again its more about how I choose to look at it and respond to it.
I’ve heard people say that prayer does not work. I totally disagree with that it’s the individual who does not work. After all prayer is only part of the equation you have to do your part in order to make it a reality. But I do not pray for materialistic things. I pray for God to bless us all I also pray that I can become an even better person and to treat people with respect. I used to pray for my higher power to please just get me out of this mess one more time and I will never do it again. We all know how that worked out only to be right back in the same situations time and time again. Not anymore. Anytime I pray for something today. I have to be ready to do the work so I also pray for guidance and strength to carry out the mission to the best of my ability.
I have been feeling very depressed lately and I am praying for some relief and comfort. I will be beginning a workout in the gym starting again this weekend. It’s time to resume my healing process. I am grateful for where I am and a year ago today
I was in a wheelchair but thanks to God’s grace and mercy today I am walking with my cane next chapter no cane coming soon.
If no one told you that they love you today. I love you. Keep fighting Struggles only make us stronger. They do not last forever.
jIust wanted to post a update on where I am at the moment.
am still on the road to recovery I hit a point where my therapist call a plateau. I wasn’t making progress as quickly as I should have been. I their eyes. So with that being said I was discharged from PT& OT services. That on top of the depression I was already experiencing was a hard pill to swallow. After all the hard work I was doing I began to wonder if I would ever really recover from this. I began to doubt myself and ask myself if it was worth it to continue. Of course I went to another facility for my therapy and the n last month I found out that my insurance ended at the beginning of this month.?? WTF. I’ve never enrolled in insurance through my employer that only lasted for a month not the full year after enrollment. That was the straw. Now I have no coverage an will need to get my shit together and get back to the gym so I can continue to do my exercises. To be honest I am not doing well. My mind is not cooperating. I’m trying to get over the Hump. I’m not feeling sorry for myself I just don’t have the enthusiasm I used to have. I will do my part and leave the results to my higher power. I’ve also been working on learning how to trade stocks. I’m taking classes and I am very grateful to be able to retain the amount of information that I have. I’ve got to admit that I surprise myself with the things that I am able to accomplish since I had my stroke last year. Life is good. I thankful that I am alive and I am certain that things will be better soon.
Thank you for reading my blog and for your support and encouragement.
I am so filled with gratitude. Today is my 6year Anniversary. God’s grace and mercy has allowed me to get and stay clean for 6 whole years. As I sit here reading some of my earlier posts when I was struggling to stay clean. I cannot help but feel a sense of gratitude. I have come a long way from then to now. Wow and Thank you is all I can say
Thank you. To my higher power and to all the wonderful people God has placed in my life. I could not have done it without you. God knows. If you read any of my earlier posts you’d know. I tried to do this alone. I came to realize that I needed help. I became willing to accept that help and became open minded to a new way of life. A life without the use of any mood or mind altering substances. Go figure. Me never use drugs again. I thought I was going to die high. That was aways the plan, until I became open to finding a God of my own understanding. Not my Mother’s or Grand mother’s God. But my own. My life has changed dramatically and again I am so grateful.
My life has been spared on a number of occasions. Just recently. Surviving a major stroke and the loss of my beloved mother imstill standing tall. I did not feel that was a good enough reason for me to go back to getting high. I already know what that life is about. I love my life in recovery too much to go back to living like that again. No thank you. I will keep on moving forward towards and even better life. Sharing the hope is a whole lot better than sharing misery with miserable people.
I’m impressed with myself. I’ve held on through hell and high water and cam out clean. 🎁🎁Go Me 6years is a long time. It’s been a wonderful experience and I wouldn’t trade it for nothing. Not a damn thing.
Life is Good on this side of the tracks. No turning back ❤️🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏
Good evening everyone, Firstly let me say thank God. I am ever so grateful to be able to write this blog post and to share my journey with you. As you know I suffered a major stroke back in February and I am partially paralyzed on my left side. Although I am struggling with accepting my current situation. I have fear of not recovering fully or at least back to what used to be normal. I have been under the care of physical, occupational and speech therapist since I was released from rehab.
I have had a couple of set backs along the way but nothing too serious. Thank God. Lately I have been feeling very depressed. I lack energy and do not want to eat at times. I have been in a dark place for a couple of days and yes I have been talking about it with my network and I just reached out to my primary physician with whom I am going to call in the morning. If need be I will seek professional help. I know that I cannot keep going on like this. I need not allow this to grow or fester I will get into the solution as quickly as possible. The last thing I want to do is to get proscribed another medication. I am sick and tired of taking medication. I know that I am grateful to be alive and clean. Using is not an option for me. I have no desire what so ever to get high. None. I already know what that is all about. It won’t now nor has it ever been a solution to any problems. I know that today.
I as always will keep all of my readers& network of friends of my blog posted on my progress or lack of
I’ve heard that said many times in meetings. That grateful addicts don’t Use. No matter what.
Well. Since my stroke I have a new found sense of gratitude. I’m grateful on a whole new level. I remember vividly how I used to take life for granted. I was un appreciative for the many years of blessings that I had received. I was being selfish and ungrateful. I realize that I need to get more involved in serving others. Giving back that which was so freely given to me. I share my life with you and others on a regular basis. I can be and need to be doing more. No matter what is a way of life for me. It’s not just a slogan. I suffered a major stroke and my beautiful mother passed away less than a month apart and I didn’t use that as an excuse to pick up. I share this as a means of hope for anyone who may be struggling with an illness and think that they cannot get through it clean. Yes you can. You never ever have to use drugs again. NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS.
God’s grace and mercy keeps me going strong. I only have a daily reprieve so every 24 hours that I stay clean is a day won. I coming up on 6 years clean next month. I am extremely proud of myself. I was the addict who just accepted the fact that I was going to die an addict. Boy was I wrong. I found a way out. I share my story with you freely in the hope that my story will inspire someone and help them believe that they too can get and stay clean.
I grew up on the crime side. The NY street s. Where you learn at a early age how to eat on them streets. You either down or you not. I jumped through a lot of hoops to fit in. Only to find out. I actually didn’t belong there. It took me a while to get it. But I finally got a understanding after a couple of bids up north in a few state run facilities I found out the truth. The streets got no love for no one. The streets will always be the same whether I’m there or not. Shit don’t change unless I choose to change. It was a hard lesson but one that I needed to learn. I retired from the streets without receiving a pension. But I got out alive. Praying with the families of all those who do not make it through. I was blessed to find a way out. I earned my seat in the fellowship. I have the battle scars physical and mental. Please believe me. God’s grace and mercy saved me and showed me that I was way off course. My thinking was more than just upside down. It was backwards and twisted and distorted. I’m clean now coming up on 6 years in October. I never would have made it with out Devine Intervention. God’s grace and mercy again shines through in my times of struggle. I am a living testimony. If I can do it anymore can. I was considered to be a lost cause. My higher power said no. You are worthy.
Good evening. Speaking as a survivor of a near fatal Catastrophe. My active addiction. I k ow first hand that prayer works and has continued to work all through out my recovery process as well. It was definitely Devine Intervention that brought me into the recovery and away from the pain of addiction I am clear on the fact that God has been covering me for a long time. My life was spared then and again earlier this year when I suffered a major stroke and was laying on my bathroom floorfor 3 days. God was with me the whole time although I was home alone I was never alone. I was saved to share my story with you. I have been called many things since my stroke. I’ve been told I inspire people. Ihave been called a miracle. I’ve even been called a hero by some. Wow ME really. I remember when I used to be called a thief and a crackhead, a deadbeat and a host of other negative things. I won’t go into the details but I believe that you get the picture.
One very important thing I have learned is NEVER GIVE UP. If you are reading this and you have been struggling hang on. Your miracle is on the way. You just need to believe. It’s coming don’t quit 5 minutes before the miracle. Give time, time. Take it a day or a minute at a time. Keep the faith.
I believe in miracles because. God has allowed me to be one.Yall know my story. My blog is my testimony.
I am grateful to be alive and able to share my journey with you.
Good day all.I can say with pride. Thar while I am Recovering from my stroke, The passding of my dear mother. My journey inRevcoveryfrom active addiction is as strong if not stronger than ever. I am still suffering from paralysis my left side and some cognitive issues and tests from the lower power putting active addicts in my household.I have been stressed lately. I am very forgetful at times.But i will never forget where i came from and the damage that drugs and the lifestyle did to me and others. The lower power is active in my life today trying its best to push me to that point of using but they do not know who they messing with.im stronger than them. i forgive them their ignorance. i will never allow anyone to steal my joy. i will cut you off at the knees before i go out like a sucker. so kick rocks you lame asses.I have still not found a reason to go back to using.Even after all that i have been through so far this year.
There are some in my life now pretending to give a fuck about my well being, there are some who would try to take advantage of my state of mind and use my forgetfulness to their advantage so they think. in reality I am still as sharp as a tac. i set the stage and they take the bait everytime. well the gig is just about up. i will surrender. i am beginning to believe i will be better off not fighting anymore. i need to move on.
As I continue to get better I am starting to gain some clarity.I am not happy about it but someone once told me that i am never stuck, being stuck is a choice. i am responsible for my recovery and for my happiness.
Goodmorning, eafternoon or evening depending on your time zone. I pray that while you are reading this all is well in your world. As many of you already know. i am recovering from a major stroke that has left me partially paralyzed on my left side. I am truly grateful to be alive and able to do certain things so please do not confuse this post as me complaining for i am just venting my frustratios and how i am feeling right now
Just for today. ihave learned a valuable lesson as a result of my present circumstances. i am loved. i am a lot stronger than i give myself credit for. i have taken a lot of life for granted. i never realized how truly blessed i was to be able to do some of the simple every day things. that we don’t think too much about, like brushing my teeth and getting dressed taking a showerall simple stuff right. i now realize being unable to do some of those things without help how much i have taken for granted. how ungrateful i have been.
i have been spared many times in my life. the first major blessing brought me into recovery, my life was spared the horrors of active addiction. believe me there were plenty of blessings in my addiction too. i could have died on many occasions but my life was spared. once again this year. while i laid on my bathroom floor alone for 3 days after suffering a stroke and hitting my head on the toilet and as i lay there i had the opportunity to get closer to my higher power. i
Although. i came to truly believe in a power greater than myself as a result of becoming a member of the fellowship and my life started to change for the better. i have witnessed blessing after blessing as a result of getting and staying clean.i believe because. i am a walking, talking miricle,
i have had a spiritual awakening as a result of rude awakening.
my gratitude is super charged right now.
but I wouldn’t be telling thr truth if i left out i am struggling right now trying to get back whewre i was before the stroke mentaly, spiritually anf physically.
i put in the work and i am making some great progress but being an addict, i want what i want and i want it now.. i know i only have power of the work i put in not the results. i will let God be God and not attempt to control the outcome of my therapy.