I am sitting in my living room watching game 7 of the NBA playoffs between the clippers and the Mavs and reminiscing about the days when I was younger playing ball. Sitting here saying to myself one day I will be able to bounce a ball and run again. I believe that. I understand that while in the midst of a storm. I need to be mindful on what I focus my attention on. what I give the most attention to gains power. Focusing on my limitations will only prolong my suffering. Focusing on the desired outcome will help that outcome to become a reality. I keep telling myself that I am stronger than I think. I always give thanks to the lord for sparing my life and walking with me through my current situation. I believe that my breakthrough is coming and I am practicing being patient. It’s not easy. As an addict I am used to instant gratification. I want what I want and I want it now. But the reality of life is that life very rarely works that way. I am learning to trust that God hears my prayers and sees my struggle and he already has a solution in play. I just need to stay in position to receive the blessings he has in store for me.
To be honest, it is easier said than done my need to try and control outcomes has taught me that control is not within my power. So therefore I must trust in God and await the results of my faith and trust in God’s truth.
Thank you as always for taking the time to read my post and I welcome your feedback.
Peace and blessings ❤️
Hello everybody, I wanted to post a quick update on how I am doing. I pray that all is well with you and your families in this pandemic, my family and I are all doing well. Thank God.
I was completely unfocused for the last couple of months. The depression snuck in and set up shop in my head, I lost hope for a little bit. I began to doubt that I would ever recover from the stroke. Plus the fact that I was not going to physical therapy was not helping me. My insurance ran out, then paying cash my money ran out and then, my hope and motivation ran out. I was truly feeling frustrated and helpless. No one cared about anything that was not Corona Virus related. If not for my wife. I Sincerely doubt that I would have made it. Thoughts of death invaded my mind every day. I called Mental health and they helped me through some of the rough patches.
Thankfully I am now a Medicaid recipient. So I was able to get a appointment with my therapist for a evaluation and I was approved for physical therapy Sessions again.
Yaaay. I am very pleased to be back in therapy. I am so motivated that I even want to go back to the gym. (I am way ahead of my actual physical abilities) it will be a while before I can get back into the routine of working out, but I am hopeful. I ride my exercise bike every day. I am also a part of a stroke recovery group, which has been a blessing.
I am so grateful that God has spared my life and I pray continuously for restoration and his healing power. I feel so much better now that I have therapy again. I pray that this is the year I can leave the cane behind walk on my own and grab things again. I believe that it will be.
Thank you for reading this.
Peace and blessings