Recovery and Recovering

Good day all.I can say with pride. Thar while I am Recovering from my stroke, The passding of my dear mother. My journey inRevcoveryfrom active addiction is as strong if not stronger than ever. I am still suffering from paralysis my left side and some cognitive issues and tests from the lower power putting active addicts in my household.I have been stressed lately. I am very forgetful at times.But i will never forget where i came from and the damage that drugs and the lifestyle did to me and others. The lower power is active in my life today trying its best to push me to that point of using but they do not know who they messing with.im stronger than them. i forgive them their ignorance. i will never allow anyone to steal my joy. i will cut you off at the knees before i go out like a sucker. so kick rocks you lame asses.I have still not found a reason to go back to using.Even after all that i have been through so far this year.

There are some in my life now pretending to give a fuck about my well being, there are some who would try to take advantage of my state of mind and use my forgetfulness to their advantage so they think. in reality I am still as sharp as a tac. i set the stage and they take the bait everytime. well the gig is just about up. i will surrender. i am beginning to believe i will be better off not fighting anymore. i need to move on.

As I continue to get better I am starting to gain some clarity.I am not happy about it but someone once told me that i am never stuck, being stuck is a choice. i am responsible for my recovery and for my happiness.

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The journey continues…..

Peace and Blessings

EricEase2019

 

The Struggle is real

Goodmorning, eafternoon or evening depending on your time zone. I pray that while you are reading this all is well in your world. As many of you already know. i am recovering from a major stroke that has left me partially paralyzed on my left side. I am truly grateful to be alive and able to do certain things so please do not confuse this post as me complaining for i am just venting my frustratios and how i am feeling right now

Just for today. ihave learned a valuable lesson as a result of my present circumstances. i am loved. i am a lot stronger than i give myself credit for. i have taken a lot of life for granted. i never realized how truly blessed i was to be able to do some of the simple every day things. that we don’t think too much about, like brushing my teeth and getting dressed taking a showerall simple stuff right. i now realize being unable to do some of those things without help how much i have taken for granted. how ungrateful i have been.

i have been spared many times in my life. the first major blessing brought me into recovery, my life was spared the horrors of active addiction. believe me there were plenty of blessings in my addiction too. i could have died on many occasions but my life was spared. once again this year. while i laid on my bathroom floor alone for 3 days after suffering a stroke and hitting my head on the toilet and as i lay there i had the opportunity to get closer to my higher power. i

Although. i came to truly believe in a power greater than myself as a result of becoming a member of the fellowship and my life started to change for the better. i have witnessed blessing after blessing as a result of getting and staying clean.i believe because. i am a walking, talking miricle,

 

 

i have had a spiritual awakening as a result of rude awakening.

my gratitude is super charged right now.

 

but I wouldn’t be telling thr truth if i left out i am struggling right now trying to get back  whewre i was before the stroke mentaly, spiritually anf physically.

 

i put in the work and i am making some great progress but being an addict, i want what i want and i want it now.. i know i only have power of the work i put in not the results. i will let God be God and not attempt to control the outcome of my therapy.

 

i am a survivor…..

after all the name of this blog says it all

FROM STRUGGLE TO STRENGTH.this too shall pass.

 

Peace and blessings

Eric Ease

 

 

 

NO MATTER WHAT

I am so grateful for the process of recovery and all that I have learned and the support network that I have built. Without it. I surely would have fell into a state of depression with every thing that has been going on in my life at this time. I first had a stroke in early February and then losty mom at the end of February and I just was diagnosed with blood clots in my lungs. It’s been 1hit right after another. As soon as I come up for air and I get hit with another wave. Ism thankful that today no matter what life throws at me. I don’t have to use. Using is never the answer and it will not make me feel better. 5years ago it would have been a different story. I am proud of myself for the progress that I have made and the growth I’ve finally learned how to express my feelings and not try to smoke them away.

Thank you tveryone for all the love and support

Peace and blessings

Eric Ease

i am strugglingwith acceptance

i am really hsving s hard time accepting my current situation. Not being able to just get up snd walkwhenever iwant to is hnot being able to lift my arm to scratch my headis also a little frustrating.i remind myselfas i sit herer typing with 1 hand  that i am blessed that is theleast of my problems. i know many others who hsve had strokes and were not as fortunate as i am. i should keep my complaints to myself.

 

I am truly grateful thaT ai have a great support network. my wife especially has been my rock throughout this whole ordeal.She is amazing, i thank god for her