Post Stroke Depression

Good evening everyone. I apologize for being M. I. A. I have been feeling very depressed lately. I am suffering from the I’m not making any progress blues. The thing is that I am making progress. Being that I can be my biggest cheerleader and my harshest critic at the same time. It can be tough sometimes for me to see the glass as half full.

The truth is that I am grateful to even have a glass at all.,because as many of you know I suffered from a major stroke back in February last year and was on the floor in my home alone for 3days until I was found. I place very high expectations for my recovery and I am not fulfilling those expectations. I want to be well again but I am struggling with putting in the extra effort to do my exercises at home.

Of course I cannot forget to mention that the voice of addiction always has something to say. Constantly plugging away at me. My self esteem has dropped to active addiction levels. I have had to seek professional help. Mental health is serious businesses and should not be taken lightly. I am grateful to have a large network. I am also grateful to have a fantastic wife. She is the best and the strongest woman I know next to my Mom who I miss so very much. I didn’t really get to grieve or process her death because she passed a couple of weeks after the stroke. I hear her voice in my head at times. Thank God for the wisdom that she has imparted in me. She will always live in my heart. She may not be here physically but I know that she is with me spiritually. I know that this is just a temporary situation. My depression is gradually getting better. I go out for walks when I can. I’m determined. The devil is a liar. He cannot steal my hope. I won’t allow him to. If you or someone you know is struggling with similar issues. Please remember to never give up. I always tell myself that things aren’t the best but they aren’t that bad either, it could be worse. I find gratitude that they are not.

So with that being said. Until the next time. I pray that you are doing well and staying safe and healthy.

Peace and blessing.

Eric Ease 2020

From Struggle To Strength Inc.

The New adventure

Good afternoon everyone,

I pray that by the time you are reading this that you are staying safe and healthy and protecting yourselves and your family.

The recent events have us all staying in the house and practicing social distancing. Although it can be rough for some because we are used to being out and about. I find it not only helps me to get closer to my higher power, but I have also taken this to be a sign. That I needed to take steps to make a career change.

I’ve been using my time to learn how to invest in the stock market. Loll hell of a time to get involved in the market right. Well since I got sick. I realized I will not be able to go back to work. So it’s actually the perfect time for me. I now have a new skill that I can practice just about anywhere I have a internet connection. I’ve started with equities and then I found options and now I have a interest in trading futures. E minis to be exact. I am very excited about my new endeavor. I am equally excited to be able to make sense of it after suffering from the affects of my stroke. I’m looking forward to the time when the Corona Virus is a thing of the past.

I pray that you all stay safe and healthy.

Peace and blessing.

Eric Ease 2020

MEETING MAKERS MAKE IT

With everything that is going on around the world and here at home surrounding the Corona Virus. It is definitely important to me that I stay connected to the fellowship. Although a lot of the in person meetings are closing or already closed. There are still ways that we can make some meetings. Below is a link to some of the NAzoom meetings. Please feel free to find one and join in…

NA Zoom Meetings

NA Zoom Meetings

COVID-19 & NA Meetings

Good afternoon everyone, As more and more restrictions are being placed on the American public. It’s is still vital for all manifestations of recovering people to maintain their personal programs. Although meetings may be closing in your area as they are in my and many states. I still find meetings important so I have taken to joining online meeting sites such as in the rooms.com

I have also been advised on phone meetings. I have yet to join the phone meetings but I will soon. It is very important to keep in touch with each other and to make sure that we all remain safe. Until this virus blows over please remember what our parents taught us to wash your hands. Lol it crazy that they recommend that now. Haven’t you been doing it? I know I have. I’m always washing my hands and. I will make sure to remain a productive member of society and heed the simple suggestions to keep myself and my family safe.

You can find a list of NA meetings here on zoom

NA Zoom Meetings

NA Zoom Meetings

Please take care of yourselves and your families. I wish you all good health.

Peace and blessings

Eric Ease 2020

THANK YOU

I am so filled with gratitude. Today is my 6year Anniversary. God’s grace and mercy has allowed me to get and stay clean for 6 whole years. As I sit here reading some of my earlier posts when I was struggling to stay clean. I cannot help but feel a sense of gratitude. I have come a long way from then to now. Wow and Thank you is all I can say

Thank you. To my higher power and to all the wonderful people God has placed in my life. I could not have done it without you. God knows. If you read any of my earlier posts you’d know. I tried to do this alone. I came to realize that I needed help. I became willing to accept that help and became open minded to a new way of life. A life without the use of any mood or mind altering substances. Go figure. Me never use drugs again. I thought I was going to die high. That was aways the plan, until I became open to finding a God of my own understanding. Not my Mother’s or Grand mother’s God. But my own. My life has changed dramatically and again I am so grateful.

My life has been spared on a number of occasions. Just recently. Surviving a major stroke and the loss of my beloved mother imstill standing tall. I did not feel that was a good enough reason for me to go back to getting high. I already know what that life is about. I love my life in recovery too much to go back to living like that again. No thank you. I will keep on moving forward towards and even better life. Sharing the hope is a whole lot better than sharing misery with miserable people.

I’m impressed with myself. I’ve held on through hell and high water and cam out clean. 🎁🎁Go Me 6years is a long time. It’s been a wonderful experience and I wouldn’t trade it for nothing. Not a damn thing.

Life is Good on this side of the tracks. No turning back β€οΈπŸ™πŸ™πŸ™πŸ™πŸ™

Thank you for allowing me to share.

Peace and blessings

Eric Ease 2019 β™₯️

POST STROKE DEPRESSION

Good evening everyone, Firstly let me say thank God. I am ever so grateful to be able to write this blog post and to share my journey with you. As you know I suffered a major stroke back in February and I am partially paralyzed on my left side. Although I am struggling with accepting my current situation. I have fear of not recovering fully or at least back to what used to be normal. I have been under the care of physical, occupational and speech therapist since I was released from rehab.

I have had a couple of set backs along the way but nothing too serious. Thank God. Lately I have been feeling very depressed. I lack energy and do not want to eat at times. I have been in a dark place for a couple of days and yes I have been talking about it with my network and I just reached out to my primary physician with whom I am going to call in the morning. If need be I will seek professional help. I know that I cannot keep going on like this. I need not allow this to grow or fester I will get into the solution as quickly as possible. The last thing I want to do is to get proscribed another medication. I am sick and tired of taking medication. I know that I am grateful to be alive and clean. Using is not an option for me. I have no desire what so ever to get high. None. I already know what that is all about. It won’t now nor has it ever been a solution to any problems. I know that today.

I as always will keep all of my readers& network of friends of my blog posted on my progress or lack of

Today is a great day to be alive and clean

Peace and blessings πŸ™πŸ™

Eric Ease 2019 ❀️

Grateful addicts don’t Use.

I’ve heard that said many times in meetings. That grateful addicts don’t Use. No matter what.

Well. Since my stroke I have a new found sense of gratitude. I’m grateful on a whole new level. I remember vividly how I used to take life for granted. I was un appreciative for the many years of blessings that I had received. I was being selfish and ungrateful. I realize that I need to get more involved in serving others. Giving back that which was so freely given to me. I share my life with you and others on a regular basis. I can be and need to be doing more. No matter what is a way of life for me. It’s not just a slogan. I suffered a major stroke and my beautiful mother passed away less than a month apart and I didn’t use that as an excuse to pick up. I share this as a means of hope for anyone who may be struggling with an illness and think that they cannot get through it clean. Yes you can. You never ever have to use drugs again. NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS.

God’s grace and mercy keeps me going strong. I only have a daily reprieve so every 24 hours that I stay clean is a day won. I coming up on 6 years clean next month. I am extremely proud of myself. I was the addict who just accepted the fact that I was going to die an addict. Boy was I wrong. I found a way out. I share my story with you freely in the hope that my story will inspire someone and help them believe that they too can get and stay clean.

Recovery Is Possible.

Peace and blessings

Eric Easeβ™₯️

2019 πŸ™

Never would have made it.

I grew up on the crime side. The NY street s. Where you learn at a early age how to eat on them streets. You either down or you not. I jumped through a lot of hoops to fit in. Only to find out. I actually didn’t belong there. It took me a while to get it. But I finally got a understanding after a couple of bids up north in a few state run facilities I found out the truth. The streets got no love for no one. The streets will always be the same whether I’m there or not. Shit don’t change unless I choose to change. It was a hard lesson but one that I needed to learn. I retired from the streets without receiving a pension. But I got out alive. Praying with the families of all those who do not make it through. I was blessed to find a way out. I earned my seat in the fellowship. I have the battle scars physical and mental. Please believe me. God’s grace and mercy saved me and showed me that I was way off course. My thinking was more than just upside down. It was backwards and twisted and distorted. I’m clean now coming up on 6 years in October. I never would have made it with out Devine Intervention. God’s grace and mercy again shines through in my times of struggle. I am a living testimony. If I can do it anymore can. I was considered to be a lost cause. My higher power said no. You are worthy.

Peace and blessings

Eric Ease

2019 πŸ™

P. U. S. H PRAY UNTIL SOMETHING HAPPENS

Good evening. Speaking as a survivor of a near fatal Catastrophe. My active addiction. I k ow first hand that prayer works and has continued to work all through out my recovery process as well. It was definitely Devine Intervention that brought me into the recovery and away from the pain of addiction I am clear on the fact that God has been covering me for a long time. My life was spared then and again earlier this year when I suffered a major stroke and was laying on my bathroom floorfor 3 days. God was with me the whole time although I was home alone I was never alone. I was saved to share my story with you. I have been called many things since my stroke. I’ve been told I inspire people. Ihave been called a miracle. I’ve even been called a hero by some. Wow ME really. I remember when I used to be called a thief and a crackhead, a deadbeat and a host of other negative things. I won’t go into the details but I believe that you get the picture.

One very important thing I have learned is NEVER GIVE UP. If you are reading this and you have been struggling hang on. Your miracle is on the way. You just need to believe. It’s coming don’t quit 5 minutes before the miracle. Give time, time. Take it a day or a minute at a time. Keep the faith.

I believe in miracles because. God has allowed me to be one.Yall know my story. My blog is my testimony.

I am grateful to be alive and able to share my journey with you.

Peace and blessing

Eric Ease ❀️

2019πŸ™πŸ™

S

Recovery and Recovering

Good day all.I can say with pride. Thar while I am Recovering from my stroke, The passding of my dear mother. My journey inRevcoveryfrom active addiction is as strong if not stronger than ever. I am still suffering from paralysis my left side and some cognitive issues and tests from the lower power putting active addicts in my household.I have been stressed lately. I am very forgetful at times.But i will never forget where i came from and the damage that drugs and the lifestyle did to me and others. The lower power is active in my life today trying its best to push me to that point of using but they do not know who they messing with.im stronger than them. i forgive them their ignorance. i will never allow anyone to steal my joy. i will cut you off at the knees before i go out like a sucker. so kick rocks you lame asses.I have still not found a reason to go back to using.Even after all that i have been through so far this year.

There are some in my life now pretending to give a fuck about my well being, there are some who would try to take advantage of my state of mind and use my forgetfulness to their advantage so they think. in reality I am still as sharp as a tac. i set the stage and they take the bait everytime. well the gig is just about up. i will surrender. i am beginning to believe i will be better off not fighting anymore. i need to move on.

As I continue to get better I am starting to gain some clarity.I am not happy about it but someone once told me that i am never stuck, being stuck is a choice. i am responsible for my recovery and for my happiness.

1963247-Lysa-TerKeurst-Quote-I-was-made-for-more-than-being-stuck-in-a

The journey continues…..

Peace and Blessings

EricEase2019