Never would have made it.

I grew up on the crime side. The NY street s. Where you learn at a early age how to eat on them streets. You either down or you not. I jumped through a lot of hoops to fit in. Only to find out. I actually didn’t belong there. It took me a while to get it. But I finally got a understanding after a couple of bids up north in a few state run facilities I found out the truth. The streets got no love for no one. The streets will always be the same whether I’m there or not. Shit don’t change unless I choose to change. It was a hard lesson but one that I needed to learn. I retired from the streets without receiving a pension. But I got out alive. Praying with the families of all those who do not make it through. I was blessed to find a way out. I earned my seat in the fellowship. I have the battle scars physical and mental. Please believe me. God’s grace and mercy saved me and showed me that I was way off course. My thinking was more than just upside down. It was backwards and twisted and distorted. I’m clean now coming up on 6 years in October. I never would have made it with out Devine Intervention. God’s grace and mercy again shines through in my times of struggle. I am a living testimony. If I can do it anymore can. I was considered to be a lost cause. My higher power said no. You are worthy.

Peace and blessings

Eric Ease

2019 🙏

P. U. S. H PRAY UNTIL SOMETHING HAPPENS

Good evening. Speaking as a survivor of a near fatal Catastrophe. My active addiction. I k ow first hand that prayer works and has continued to work all through out my recovery process as well. It was definitely Devine Intervention that brought me into the recovery and away from the pain of addiction I am clear on the fact that God has been covering me for a long time. My life was spared then and again earlier this year when I suffered a major stroke and was laying on my bathroom floorfor 3 days. God was with me the whole time although I was home alone I was never alone. I was saved to share my story with you. I have been called many things since my stroke. I’ve been told I inspire people. Ihave been called a miracle. I’ve even been called a hero by some. Wow ME really. I remember when I used to be called a thief and a crackhead, a deadbeat and a host of other negative things. I won’t go into the details but I believe that you get the picture.

One very important thing I have learned is NEVER GIVE UP. If you are reading this and you have been struggling hang on. Your miracle is on the way. You just need to believe. It’s coming don’t quit 5 minutes before the miracle. Give time, time. Take it a day or a minute at a time. Keep the faith.

I believe in miracles because. God has allowed me to be one.Yall know my story. My blog is my testimony.

I am grateful to be alive and able to share my journey with you.

Peace and blessing

Eric Ease ❤️

2019🙏🙏

S

Recovery and Recovering

Good day all.I can say with pride. Thar while I am Recovering from my stroke, The passding of my dear mother. My journey inRevcoveryfrom active addiction is as strong if not stronger than ever. I am still suffering from paralysis my left side and some cognitive issues and tests from the lower power putting active addicts in my household.I have been stressed lately. I am very forgetful at times.But i will never forget where i came from and the damage that drugs and the lifestyle did to me and others. The lower power is active in my life today trying its best to push me to that point of using but they do not know who they messing with.im stronger than them. i forgive them their ignorance. i will never allow anyone to steal my joy. i will cut you off at the knees before i go out like a sucker. so kick rocks you lame asses.I have still not found a reason to go back to using.Even after all that i have been through so far this year.

There are some in my life now pretending to give a fuck about my well being, there are some who would try to take advantage of my state of mind and use my forgetfulness to their advantage so they think. in reality I am still as sharp as a tac. i set the stage and they take the bait everytime. well the gig is just about up. i will surrender. i am beginning to believe i will be better off not fighting anymore. i need to move on.

As I continue to get better I am starting to gain some clarity.I am not happy about it but someone once told me that i am never stuck, being stuck is a choice. i am responsible for my recovery and for my happiness.

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The journey continues…..

Peace and Blessings

EricEase2019

 

The Struggle is real

Goodmorning, eafternoon or evening depending on your time zone. I pray that while you are reading this all is well in your world. As many of you already know. i am recovering from a major stroke that has left me partially paralyzed on my left side. I am truly grateful to be alive and able to do certain things so please do not confuse this post as me complaining for i am just venting my frustratios and how i am feeling right now

Just for today. ihave learned a valuable lesson as a result of my present circumstances. i am loved. i am a lot stronger than i give myself credit for. i have taken a lot of life for granted. i never realized how truly blessed i was to be able to do some of the simple every day things. that we don’t think too much about, like brushing my teeth and getting dressed taking a showerall simple stuff right. i now realize being unable to do some of those things without help how much i have taken for granted. how ungrateful i have been.

i have been spared many times in my life. the first major blessing brought me into recovery, my life was spared the horrors of active addiction. believe me there were plenty of blessings in my addiction too. i could have died on many occasions but my life was spared. once again this year. while i laid on my bathroom floor alone for 3 days after suffering a stroke and hitting my head on the toilet and as i lay there i had the opportunity to get closer to my higher power. i

Although. i came to truly believe in a power greater than myself as a result of becoming a member of the fellowship and my life started to change for the better. i have witnessed blessing after blessing as a result of getting and staying clean.i believe because. i am a walking, talking miricle,

 

 

i have had a spiritual awakening as a result of rude awakening.

my gratitude is super charged right now.

 

but I wouldn’t be telling thr truth if i left out i am struggling right now trying to get back  whewre i was before the stroke mentaly, spiritually anf physically.

 

i put in the work and i am making some great progress but being an addict, i want what i want and i want it now.. i know i only have power of the work i put in not the results. i will let God be God and not attempt to control the outcome of my therapy.

 

i am a survivor…..

after all the name of this blog says it all

FROM STRUGGLE TO STRENGTH.this too shall pass.

 

Peace and blessings

Eric Ease

 

 

 

NO MATTER WHAT

I am so grateful for the process of recovery and all that I have learned and the support network that I have built. Without it. I surely would have fell into a state of depression with every thing that has been going on in my life at this time. I first had a stroke in early February and then losty mom at the end of February and I just was diagnosed with blood clots in my lungs. It’s been 1hit right after another. As soon as I come up for air and I get hit with another wave. Ism thankful that today no matter what life throws at me. I don’t have to use. Using is never the answer and it will not make me feel better. 5years ago it would have been a different story. I am proud of myself for the progress that I have made and the growth I’ve finally learned how to express my feelings and not try to smoke them away.

Thank you tveryone for all the love and support

Peace and blessings

Eric Ease

i am strugglingwith acceptance

i am really hsving s hard time accepting my current situation. Not being able to just get up snd walkwhenever iwant to is hnot being able to lift my arm to scratch my headis also a little frustrating.i remind myselfas i sit herer typing with 1 hand  that i am blessed that is theleast of my problems. i know many others who hsve had strokes and were not as fortunate as i am. i should keep my complaints to myself.

 

I am truly grateful thaT ai have a great support network. my wife especially has been my rock throughout this whole ordeal.She is amazing, i thank god for her

THE ROAD TO RECOVERY

Is in deed a long road. I have to admit that it is frustrating sat times. I am constantly being told to slow down by the staff here. I have to remember that I am not in control of the out come. I am only responsible for the efforts. I will be able to walk again in God’s time not in my time I know it’s a process. After all I am a recovering addict. I still suffer from I want what I want and I want it now. Instant gratification. . I am eager to get back to walking again. It’s very difficult not to be able to use my left arm and leg am making great progress. Today I walked a whole 41 fleet. Yaaaay me

Recovering from a strokSTROKE

Greetings from me to you on this befifil day. As I sit here in my rehab room looking pout the window at the passersbys below. In a way this all seems familiar. Like I have been here before, but it’s no the same. This time is very different. I Am not here trying to escape from using. No this time I am recovering from a major stroke. I had a blood clot travel and stop on the right side of my brain an block thee flow of blood. It caused me to colspse in my him. I was rushed to the 😋loop E. Regency room iv been recovering since. N

IT’S OUR ANNIVERSARY

I would like to take this opportunity to to wish my beautiful wife a happy 1 year anniversary.

We are together in Punta Cana enjoying each other’s company and having a wonderful time.

Thank you for being on this journey with me and for loving me as much as I love you.

I look forward to many more fantastically awesome years together.

I love you.

Peace and Blessings.

Eric Ease

RELATIONSHIPS PART 2

I don’t believe in coincidence so my post yesterday must have been trying to tell me something.. There’s a lesson to be learned here and last night I think I finally got it.

I might be wrong and it won’t be the first time. I am learning that the longer I stay clean, the more I don’t know much about living life clean. I do not handle situations in a rational manner and I am still not mature in many areas.

I believe that I may have stepped into something that I should not have. I am coming to terms that I was not ready and I still am not ready to be that person. I am just starting to feel like I am getting a little bit better and then BOOM. The old attitudes and behaviors show me that I am not.

I have never been in a healthy relationship. All of my life I have used one substance or another and in every relationship those behaviors have led to it’s demise, but I do not have the substance to blame now.

They say that Your best teacher is your last mistake, They say a lesson will repeat itself until it is learned. Obviously I have not learned shit.

Well that’s not entirely true.

I have learned that I do not want to cause anyone any harm. Yet I still do. Knowing that I am causing harm does not sit well with me today. I feel like I am causing someone that I love more harm than good. No matter how hard I try I always wind up being the bad guy. So I must be doing something wrong and need to find some inner peace.

I need to correct myself. I cannot be any good to anyone if I am no good to myself. I cannot love anyone until I truly learn how to love myself. I thought I did, but I am not sure anymore. I have prayed and prayed again.

I realize that I have been placing the blame, but what I should do is own my part. I take ownership. I know that I am far from perfect. I know that I need to allow others their space.

I am not taking hostages today.

Peace and Blessings

Eric Ease