The #AHCAlypse campaign

From Faces and Voices of Recovery. 

The House health care reform bill, AHCA, has many families and communities worried about its impact on those with mental illness, substance use disorders, pre-existing conditions and many other health care needs. The changes to Medicaid and pre-existing conditions protections are particularly important to those with substance use disorders and mental health conditions.

Read more on this and other stories at

https://t.co/6YhZmyx2Wk
http://facesandvoicesofrecovery.org

DON’T BE FOOLED BY THE LIES

The lies. 
You know the ones we tell ourselves. I’m not good enough. I can’t do it. I will never change. I’m not worthy. So on and so on. 

The sad part is that I believed those lies for years. I’ve told myself these lies for so long that I couldn’t see past them to the truth. I was stuck in a cycle of pity and self loathing. Low self esteem helped to drive the nails home that sealed my coffin. I was or at least I thought I was finished. I couldn’t seem to find a way out. I continued along in my cycle destined to remain the same with no hope of ever changing. 

I didn’t realize then what I know now. 

I did not know that my addiction ran deeper than the drugs that I was consuming. I didn’t know that my addiction started long before I ever picked up that first-time. I never knew that I have  built in self destruction that is hell bent on destroying me and it starts and ends with my thinking. I didn’t know that if I change my thinking, I could change my life. 

I am what I tell myself I am.  

It all depends on the thoughts that I focus on. The thought that I feed will be the thought that wins. It’s really just as simple as that. If I tell myself that I cannot do something and I feed that thought by listing all the reasons why I can’t do it. I will eventually talk myself right out of trying it. Therefore I have failed without even having given a ounce of effort. And as a result I will remain the same. In the same frame of mind, the same circumstances  and will continue to get the same results. 

On  the other hand, 

When I quite those negative thoughts and allow the positive thoughts to take their rightful place. Feed those thoughts with positive reinforcement, hope, faith, optimism and add actions to it. I can and will see different results. I will in turn begin to gain the courage and self esteem therefore establishing the confidence to continue and create a new habit. 

That habit is the beginning of the transformation of change. 
It starts and ends with me recognizing my own bullshit and stopping the vicious cycle before it takes hold. Killing it at the roots. 

Peace and blessings. 

Eric Ease 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY IN HEAVEN. REST IN PEACE DAD. 


I want to take time out to recognize the man who is partly responsible for making me the person that I am today. 
My father was a strong, intelligent and caring person. He always made time for his children and made sure that we were well taken care of. He never gave up on me and went to every and any length to get me help. I was just too caught up in the grips to accept it. 

My Dad died in August of 2001 at the very young age of 63. He will forever be loved and missed. I pay homage on this what would have been his 79th birthday. 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAD. I LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU VERY MUCH. 

Love

Eric 

ANY MEANS NECESSARY

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I was thinking about when I was caught up in the grips of my active addiction and the many different things I did to get that NEXT ONE.

I remember going anywhere at any time of the day or night. I would travel to the moon if it were possible to get my next hit. I would walk the streets for hours at all hours of the night, in the most dangerous neighborhoods with no concern for my health or well being. I’ve taken many chances and took my life for granted on many occasions. I took advice from people whom I would never be likely to ever speak to normally. I went with people that I had no idea if they were legit or trying to hurt me or steal from me. I used substances that I had no idea if they would kill me. I was very open minded when it came to the ways and means to get more.

When I look back on my days years of using, I am amazed that I am still here. What’s even more amazing is my willingness to stay clean. I never thought that I would ever, never, ever be able to stop using drugs. I was a hardcore addict. I used to live, lived to use and when the euphoria wore off. I used more and more. I truly believed that I would die a addict. That I would die wasn’t the scary part either. In fact in the end I wanted to die more than anything else. I couldn’t stop using but I was tired of the way I was living. I couldn’t see any other way out. I didn’t know then what I know now to be true.

Recovery Is Possible…

I am forever grateful that I was lead to recovery and the rooms of Narcotics Anonymous. It has saved my life. I life that I was ready to end. I didn’t understand how lucky I was to be in recovery in the early stages. Afterall I had been in and out of treatment centers, recovery houses and institutions for many years and none of that seemed to work. So what was so different about this.. That was the attitude that I came into recovery with. The same attitude that I had for years and for years got the same results, so I didn’t stay, I went about it all wrong. I didn’t plug in, I didn’t participate, tell the truth, be open minded, willing or take any of the other suggestions that I was given. I relapsed time after time and began to think that recovery worked for others but it wouldn’t work for me. Can you relate to that?

Needless to say. I took some more ass whoopings before I eventually realized that if I was ever going to change, I had to change. I had to change the way I was thinking and behaving. I had to become willing to do something about the way I was living. I had to become open to listen and stop saying I know. I didn’t know. My ego would not allow me to be open to learn new things so I proceeded to act like I knew everything. SMDH. Well let me tell you. I learned the hard way but I learned. I began to feel change after I allowed myself to become teachable. I began to become honest when the pain of living a lie became to great. I became addicted to the way my life was changing and I wanted more. It was a no brainer that took me years to understand. The process of recovery is so simple, but I made it so difficult. I suffered for years thinking there was no way out when the answer was right in front of me the whole damn time. I just refused to accept it.

I thank God for the many people who believed in me when I was unable to believe in myself. I am grateful to the rooms and all of the wonderful people in them. The literature, step work, sponsors, ,members, and especially the slogans. I took hold to the slogans and would recite them to myself whenever I felt a urge coming. I especially liked NO MATTER WHAT. I began to believe that no matter what happened. I didn’t have to use and I repeated that one slogan to myself day in and day out. I kept showing up to meetings, I made new friends and began to like myself just enough to keep coming back. I often wondered how people got the clean time they had, I would hear someone say 5,10,15 or 20 years clean and in the beginning I didn’t believe it. Today I know it’s true and I know how they are accomplishing it.

One day at a time

BY ANY MEANS NECESSARY.

I never have to use another mind or mood altering substance.

NO MATTER WHAT.

 

Peace and blessings.

Eric Ease