I remember all to well staying stuck in a never ending cycle. I was committed to the comfort of the pain, misery and suffering that came along with that cycle. I was locked and loaded in the grips of not only my addiction but the fear that kept me running around in circles like a dog chasing his tail. 

Fear is a animal all its own. It causes more damage than any mood or mind altering substance that I have ever taken and the effects last way longer. The damage caused by my fears have left a blood trail and DNA samples in every area of my life from the past to the present day. Fear has caused me to miss out on and pass up on many opportunities. It has played a major role in keeping my self-confidence and self-esteem low and along with the negative thoughts that constantly run through my fractured mind helped to fuel the fire of becoming comfortable with doing just enough to get by without having to go the extra mile to achieve a better life for myself. 

I always wished that I could change, I wanted it, I could imagine it, see it in my mind but could never make it become a reality because I was comfortable with underachieving. I became paralyzed by fear and settled for less than I was worth in every aspect of my life. I believed that I was OK where I was at. I lied to myself on numerous occasions and became accustomed to paying the high cost of living so low. 

My fears are not real, but, If I allow them to take hold then they become my reality. I am what I believe I am. I can do or cannot do what ever I tell myself I can or cannot do.  I am slowly learning this lesson today. It is a lesson that has played over and over, again and again in my life. It is still to this day a cycle that I struggle with. I can see the negative side of everything before I can see the positive side. Therefore I stop the thought or action before it can ever take hold. Before it gets started I allow the fears to take hold and change the outcome before I even try it. 

That’s my truth. For all the good things I accomplish. I have a lot of work that I still need to do. I know that it’s a process and it happens over time and not over night. I am not beating myself up. I am only sharing with you my story. My fears are just as alive today as they were when I was using and if I am not careful the results can end up the same without ever having picked up a drink or a drug. 

So I will practice being vigilant in recognizing the fears, working through them, sharing them and over coming the urges to submit to them. In other words leave the comfort of familiarity and enter into the uncomfortable zones. 

Peace and blessings. 

Eric Ease 


  1. Hey Eric, so happy to know I’m neither unique or weird! Lol thought you were writing about me for certain. One good thing is that we know this defect about ourselves now. Am currently working step 4 but our of the white booklet vice SWG this time. Just felt it was way more in-depth which I need. Hope you are well and thanks again.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hi Jen. No my friend you are not unique or weird. You are not alone. I am grateful to be able to share my experiences and have others who can identify with them. I thank you for letting me know also that I am not the only one and I am not alone. It is definitely without parallel. All is well with me thank you for asking and I pray the same for you. Have a blessed evening.


  2. Wow! FEAR…the thing that without Faith, a Higher~Power, and support from a group of people who knows us, will kill us. One way or the other! I was just sharing with someone not about drugs, but about relationships. Same concept! You are in a committed relationship, but believe they don’t love you, and will probably leave you, so you go and have an affair…”what’s the use in staying faithful, they gonna leave anyway”. They find out, and guess what…they leave! Now, because of your FEAR, you did the unthinkable and caused your FEAR to become a reality. Same thing in all aspects of our lives. We must not be afraid, we must believe in God, and in ourselves. For so many years I was afraid I wasn’t good enough, and then it hit me, the only person I wasn’t good enough for, was me. The friendships I destroyed, the relationships I destroyed, even the jobs I walked away from, all because of FALSE EVIDENCE APPEARING REAL!!!
    I love you so much Eric, you always allow me see something new and profound in you, and most times your words confirm what has already been placed in my heart. God bless you E!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you De’Bora.I love you too. Thank you for sharing your identification. I appreciate your comments and feedback. You always give me another way to look at things. I am grateful to have such a wonderful friend. God bless you and have a wonderful evening.


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