I remember when I was younger and the many different things that I wanted to do and be. As a child I can remember playing with my siblings and pretending to be this or that. It is a game that many children play. The difference between me and most kids is most grow up and begin to have goals and aspirations. I on the other hand stayed stuck. I allowed fear and other people’s opinions to shape and form my thoughts about myself. I fell into the vacuum of self doubt, pity and indecisiveness. I believed that I would never amount to anything and as a result proceeded to live out my life according to those lies.
Addiction became my life. When I was a kid I played the game of I want to be this or that, but never did I say when I grow up. I want to be a addict. Who does that. No one, but many of us end up down that long endless road. My addiction started long before I ever picked up my first drug and is still going long after I picked up my last one. I will have the disease of addiction until I take my last breath that I know. I will not though be a victim of the lies that I tell myself nor will I allow my problems, situations or circumstances to keep me locked and loaded in a negative never ending spiral of hopelessness, worthlessness and despair.
I am growing up. I am able to make healthy decisions and take responsibility for my actions today. That is huge. I am not that same old person and I refuse to allow anyone to treat me like I am. I am no longer focused on my problems from my past, nor do I dwell on my problems of the present. I have learned a valuable lesson since coming into recovery. I can either be a part of the problem or part of the solution. If I continue to dwell on the negative and only see my situations as a problem. I will miss out on growing and developing. I will not be able to see the solutions which in most instances are right in front of me and easy to apply.
So just for today as I sit here writing this at 30,000 feet. I will keep my focus on the positive so I can continue to enjoy the benefits of what life has to offer. I will stay in the solution and be a part of the bigger picture. After all my results depend on what I focus on.
What will you focus on?
Peace and blessings.