I AM WHAT I TELL MYSELF I AM

It wasn’t too long ago that I told myself that I would never get clean. That I was worthless, useless,  a failure, that I would never be able to stop using and that I would die a lonely death. 

The sad part is that I not only told myself that, but I believed it. 

My outlook on life was dismal to say the least. I had lost all hope of ever living a life that I could be proud of. I had already given up trying to live a life that would please my parents or anyone else. I lost all hope of ever reconciling with my family. I was the lost son. The failure,. The disappointment. 

All those lies I told myself for all those years took hold of my inner spirit. They manifested themselves through my actions and as I result, I lived down to them and then some. I became all that I told myself that I was. I became all that I told myself that I couldn’t be. 

Thoughts just like words are very powerful. But unlike words, I can take my thoughts back. I can shift my thought process at any given moment. But If I choose to allow my thoughts to turn into words and actions. Then all bets are off. 

I have learned some very valuable lessons in my journey in recovery. Of them all, the most valuable thing I have been able to take away from it is. I am what I think I am. I can think myself into a Happy, prosperous life. I life like I never imagined or I can think myself into a corner that I might not be able to come out of clean. I can allow my thoughts to propell me forward or I can allow them to block my blessings and revert back to my old pattern of attitudes and behaviors. 

The bottom line is that I have a choice. Life is a series of choices. The choices I make can either help me or harm me. It all begins and ends with my thinking. 

Peace and Blessings 

Eric Ease