I have been blogging for 5 years 2 months and 7 days. I’ve been clean for 3 years 2 months and 23 days. One thing I have learned is that my addiction never takes a day off. It doesn’t rest or go on break. My addiction is alive and always on call. Ready to step in and cause friction, wreak havoc, tell me lies or isolate me from the herd. My addiction doesn’t take vacations. 
I say that because, as I told you all last week. I have been on the road to self destruction and decided to do something about it. The first thing I did was to tell on myself. First here on my blog and then in a meeting. I shared because I was scared. I am not ashamed to admit my fear of relapse today. I am not ashamed to admit that I am scared because I know all to well what happens when I keep secrets. 

Secrets Kill. 

So although my addiction doesn’t take vacations. I do. I am on a cruise ship right now with my wife and we are having a wonderful time. We are celebrating my birthday which is in 2 days on January 20th. We are sailing from Miami to Honduras, Belize, Cozumel and… We have been waiting patiently for this trip for months and are very happy in each other’s company when we travel. I love her and am grateful we are together. 

I for one know all too well that my addiction aka ME, doesn’t like to see me happy. I have been down this road before and screwed up again and again. More times than I care to mention. I also know that my addiction wants me dead but it will settle for me being miserable. It’s crazy but true. Addiction will have me kill my own self. My dreams and my aspirations. If I am not careful I can easily start believing all the bullshit that runs through my mind at any given moment every day. So I am taking the measures to protect myself.  

Being in a ship in the middle of the ocean where 95% of the people are drinking and drunk I have  made sure to carve out the time to make the on board meetings. Even though the meetings are from another fellowship I make sure to attend. I am grateful to be able to make a meeting in the middle of nowhere. It’s truly a blessing and one that I do not take for granted. It’s easier to use than to stay clean when I am not being vigilant with maintaining my recovery. 

I am responsible for my recovery. 

I will stay connected so I can stay protected. 

Peace and Blessings 

Eric Ease


  1. Thanks for your honesty. You are an inspiration to me & so many others. Don’t quit!!! Satan really screws with me daily. I feel like I’m responsible for my husband because, I’m supposed to be an example! I’ve overcome so many things. To GOD be the Glory, but this is really kicking my butt! I’ve told my husband that I didn’t want to be around it, but I don’t think he truly understands the depth of my “situation”. I even thought about leaving him but I Love him So much & he adores me! I can only pray that he will not go get more. He was in a horrible car accident a year ago, March 20th. He was burned horribly & had his feet cut in half! The car exploded seconds after they pulled him away. I have to believe that there is a purpose for GOD sparing his life. I NEED STRENGTH AND WISDOM, for this valley that I’ve created yet again. Please pray for me. I KNOW I CAN DO IT AGAIN! It’s HARD to be grateful when you feel weak. I know that it’s a lie, but for whatever the reason, I’m still at war within myself! FATHER GOD, PLEASE DELIVER ME FROM THIS EVIL, IN JESUS NAME!!!


    • Good evening Leisa and thank you for taking the time to read and comment on my blog post. I appreciate your taking the risk to share your story here with me today. I understand when you say that “satan screws with you daily” I can identify with that. I know for a fact that my addiction will come at me in anyway possible and it plays off and feeds off my negative thoughts. In recovery I have learned 1 really valuable lesson. That is I am not responsible for others addiction, actions or the consequences of those actions. I am only responsible to my actions. I am responsible today for my recovery. It is not anyone else’s responsibility to get me or keep me clean. That is my job. I am only granted a daily reprieve and am capable of making the wrong decision at any time. If I am not careful, I can be right back where I started 4 and a half years ago. If I am lucky enough to have God grant me the mercy to make it back.

      Don’t blame yourself for your husbands actions or blame yourself for not being an example. We tend to put way too much pressure on ourselves because we feel we are supposed to be this or that. Society says this or that. Life is full of ups and downs. I am finally learning to roll with the tide. Live Life on its terms and not on my own. I pray that your husband does not go out and get some more but even if he does and as hard as it may be you still have a choice to not pick it up. I am sorry that you are going through this hell right now and I truly believe that you want to get back to living clean again and I know you will. You just have to make the hard choices that come along with getting what you want. I am sorry to hear about your husbands accident and God truly stepped in. There is a reason he spared him and a purpose or plan he has not revealed yet. True blessings come in many forms. I will keep you both in my prayers and I know that God will see fit to pull you up out of that valley and deliver you safely. Thank you again for opening up and sharing your pain. I am grateful to be here and be able to offer a ear and any support I can.


  2. Go on soldier, your strength is admirable, I gain strength from the knowledge you share with us, thank you and bless you. To a land lubber like me your cruise destinations sounds idyllic, you and the wife have fun and laugh a lot, it is raining where I am. Lol. Stay up my Brother, peace

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Hey Eric, I realize it’s been a minute since we have connected. 2016 was a tumultuous year to say the least. Everything from an election year and a near fatal auto accident. I’ve been on a nine monthly social media detox. Getting back in the game but cautiously. Huge Congrats on your anniversary and please know that IMHO you are certainly one to emulate my friend
    Stay blessed __/l\__my friend and keep doin’ this deal cause we need you as you need us. Most Sincerely with love and admiration
    jen richards rinehart aka: xnavygal Be❤Recieve ❤

    Liked by 2 people

    • Good morning Jen. I appreciate your taking the time to read my blog also I understand taking a break from social media. I have fallen back a bit and had to find the balance. Sorry to hear that you had been in a accident. I pray that you are feeling better and recovering. I will absolutely stay close and connected because I do need you. I know that I cannot do this alone. Thank you for all your support and encouragement. Have a fantastic day.


      • Thank you for such a
        Prompt reply. Much appreciated. Just want you to know you are definitely one to emulate. So proud of you I just don’t have the space provided please keep me in your thoughts and prayers as I’m leaving for my 2nd round of outpatient therapy in 5. My third and final knee surgery was two weeks ago soooo…I’ve got much time to make up for. Besides, I just couldn’t hit the beach in JA with a walker or However, as you well know we are quite the resourceful bunch with much perseverance. Much love, j

        Liked by 1 person

  4. I thank your god that you recognise addiction for what it is and what it wants to do to you, us! Stay strong stay connected – how fantastic that there should be a fellowship meeting on board, your HP is looking out for you my friend 😀
    As much as it is painful for me sometimes to read your blog I heard and saw so much of the negativity in my life. That self loathing self destruct – I foolishly wanted to/ thought I could make it better for him but of course it’s not my job it’s gods. Wishing you positivity x

    Liked by 2 people

    • Amen Karen. I am grateful that my Higher power does for me that which I sometimes cannot do for myself. It’s truly a blessing. God’s timing is not always in line with our own. I have learned that I cannot force it or force others (my brothers) to get clean. I can only pray for them and those who are still caught up in the grips of their addiction.

      Liked by 3 people

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