I had a discussion this morning with my wife and it was basically about why I haven’t posted anything to my blog recently. I had to admit that I have been in a slump lately and been suffering from for lack of a better term writers block. I couldn’t seem to wrap my head around a subject to post about other that the usual topics and my disease has been actively telling me that I post about the same things over and over and no one wants to keep reading about it. I even went as far as to consider shutting down the blog. I have been thinking too much and had to take a break.

I know all to well what happens when I over think things. I can create a problem where there is none and how if I am not careful my disease will have me thinking that I am not helping anyone nor myself by writing my blog and that recovery is not really working and I should just stop kidding myself. I am aware today that my thinking is beyond normal and most would agree upside down.

I am thankful for the awareness that I have gained in recovery. I am learning new things about myself daily and I am beginning to notice patterns of behavior and attitudes associated with those behaviors. I am learning to identify my feelings and even express them sometimes. Other times I sit in silence and try to figure out the meaning of it all by myself and think myself crazy. I am aware today when I am thinking myself crazy and even though I may not be able to catch it before it starts, eventually I do catch it and can stop it  and start my day over at any time.

I am thankful for serenity. I have found a level of peace since coming into recovery that I have never known nor experienced before. I am 20 times calmer today than I was 3 years ago. My temper is not as bad and I am not as quick to want to jump knee deep into yo ass. I am able to think a lot clearer and to even use consequential thinking. I know that for every action there is a reaction and for every reaction there is a consequence. Good or bad there is always a result to my actions. I am thankful for the wisdom to take a second to breathe and not act off impulse today.

I am thankful for the things that I am learning about the disease of addiction and the many different ways that it will try to discredit my achievements and my forward motion. I am thankful that I am a lot better at not allowing my feelings or my thoughts to dictate my actions today. I have the ability to choose and I exercise that option.

I am thankful for a lot of things, too many to write about here in this post but the list goes on and on. Needless to say I am very thankful for all of the people in my life today who help me along the way in this process of life. Recovery has made such a tremendous difference in my life and I will be forever thankful for this opportunity to grow and spread my wings.

I am thankful that I got to live 2 lives in one lifetime.This experience is priceless and I would not trade my new way of life for nothing. Especially not my old life.I will keep fighting for my freedom come hell or high water.

I have been blessed beyond words.



11 thoughts on “THANKFUL FOR

  1. Keep writing Eric. You have an strong and honest voice. I get in those slumps too. My writer friends tell me they sit down and write anyway. And think about it…would you stop going to meetings because they are always about the “same ‘ol?” people benefit from your insights and you benefit from digging for them.

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  2. It’s always good to read your blog – in your own time in your own way! I never get board of your experience strength and hope that you share with us…even in writers block 😊 You have much going on in your life, whilst it’s good to remain focused on your recovery maybe you have got to a point where you actually don’t need to focus 110% on it whilst your new way of life becomes just that your new way of life?
    Keeping your blog/journal will just be one part or your recovery. To end on another saying progress not perfection is the way to go – don’t be too hard on yourself enjoy life!

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    • Thank you Karen. As always you help me to take a deeper look at what’s going on. I truly appreciate your comments and look forward to them whenever I post. I am thankful that you are on this journey with me.

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      • Thank you Eric – I haven’t been keeping up with things on here recently as K is out of jail and struggling but I am trying to be and not do things for him, and we seem to be finding our way. I liked your bit about actions reactions and consequences as that is something I too am working on or at least my reactions to his behaviours and actions. For me my serenity stays if I do not get drawn in to negative/harmful behaviours because it can’t change them and only stresses me out – its hard sometimes not to react but I know I must not!
        I think I have missed something major in your life events too ‘WIFE’?? Or is that just a metaphorical term for your lovely lady? Have a lovely weekend Spring is here in the UK so going to take advantage of the glorious day we have been blessed with 😊

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        • You’re welcome Karen. I pray that K finds his way into recovery but I am glad to hear that you are not enabling him or feeding into the negative and reacting to his behaviors and getting stressed out. I refer to my fiancee as my wife. She will be officially next year I’m just starting early. Lol. Yes spring has finally sprung. I am very happy about that. You have a lovely weekend as well my friend. Peace and blessings to you.

          Liked by 1 person

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