TELLING ON MY DISEASE
118 DAYS CLEAN
The get-togethers after our meetings are good opportunities to share things that we didnt get to discuss during the meeting.
Basic Text, p. 98
Just for today:
I will break free of isolation. I will strive to feel a part of the NA Fellowship.
Hello and God Bless You.
Isolation is an addicts best friend and a recovering addicts worse enemy. When I was active I isolated for so long that any real friends that I might have had I didn’t have for long. I would avoid people at all cost. The embarrassment and hopelessness that I felt kept me from associating with people. That same feeling took me to new depths of loneliness that I never knew existed.
When I came into recovery I saw people interacting with each other. Laughing and sharing. Joking and smiling with each other. I felt out of place. I sat quiet and watched. People introduced themselves to me and before long I felt like I actually belonged. The more time went on the more comfortable I became. I am truly grateful for that experience because it kept me coming back. I didn’t feel so lonely anymore. I have made many good friends in recovery and I thank God for guiding me to the rooms and online communities that I am apart of.
I am having a hard time today because my disease is trying to take it all away from me. My disease is feeding me a bunch of lies designed to make me feel like I am not worthy of this new life, new friends, new found joy. I know better than to believe all of the lies but I also know that I have to share these thoughts and feelings with you. I know that I am only as sick as my secrets. I can see the light getting brighter at the end of the tunnel and my disease doesn’t like that so its trying extra hard to get me back. I have been feeling like crawling under a rock, like isolating, like not making meetings calling my sponsor or doing anything lately and I need to shake these unhealthy feelings. I have been here before and the results were not good.
Today I will continue to tell on my disease. I will not isolate. I will call my sponsor and someone from my network. I will make meetings. I will not allow these funky feelings to gain anymore traction. I will pump my breaks and get my focus back on the positive things that I am grateful for.
Thank you for reading today’s blog post.
As always feel free to leave a comment below to let me know you were here.
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Peace and Blessings
NAM
“The therapeutic value of one addict helping another is without parallel.” Let’s stay connected! Thanks for your blogs and Google plus post. I’m not to much of a Facebook type of person for many reasons but I can be found on Google plus and through my gmail. ☺
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Absolutely Sabrina. Thank you for reading and commenting on my posts. I appreciate knowing that my writing is reaching people and connecting with others is what it’s all about. I look forward to interacting with you. Have a fantastic evening.
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Gotta say that I really enjoy this. Thanks for sharing
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Thank you Darran. I appreciate your support and for taking the time to read my blog post. Have a great day brother.
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That little voice that is putting doubt and trying to steal your joy is a big fat fucking liar. Tell that voice to fuck off.
Your sobriety is so worth it!!
Stay strong. Call your sponsor, use your tools and community.
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Thank you. This post was from my earlier attempt at getting clean. Unfortunately I did not stay but with the grace of my Higher Power I made it back. You are absolutely right. That little voice is a liar. I am grateful that I know this to be true today.
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