I CAN’T. WE CAN


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From the isolation of our addiction, we find a fellowship of people with a common bond… Our faith, strength, and hope come from people sharing their recovery…
Basic Text, p. 98

Just for today:

I will join in the bond of recovery. I will find the experience, strength, and hope I need in the Fellowship of Narcotics Anonymous.

Hello and God Bless You.

It’s funny how the Just for Today seems to fit so well with how I am feeling sometimes. I always find the hope and strength to put my thoughts and feelings to paper when I make the necessary connections thanks in part to the Just for Today and of course my HP God.

It took me a very long time to finally surrender. To finally admit that I was indeed powerless over my addiction and over other people and situations and thoughts that others have of me and that my life was totally unmanageable. I was so deep in denial that I didn’t even realize that I was still lying to myself. Forget about lying to others that was small potatoes compared to believing all that bullshit I was feeding myself. That same denial kept me sick for years and the lies just kept growing. If I couldn’t admit anything to myself you know I couldn’t and wouldn’t admit it to anyone else.

Once I was finally able to admit it to myself I was still in denial with others. Isolation was my only way of surviving. I had to protect my secrets at all cost. It was a very sad and lonely existence. I suffered trying to keep my secrets hidden and became sicker and sicker by the day. Stuffing my true feelings of pain, heartache, loneliness, sadness, guilt, shame, embarrassment, uselessness, worthlessness and all the other feelings made me very angry and not being capable of talking about it was helping to seal my coffin. I was a dead man walking. It was only a matter of time before I would have pulled the trigger and ended it all.

God  knew that I was ready to give up and that I was coming to the end of my rope and had a different plan for me. I am grateful beyond words for his devine intervention. God led me to the rooms. I wasn’t open and honest at first because of fear but as time went on and I became willing to change I am finally beginning to feel some relief. I feel the love in the rooms and with my online family that I so desperately have been seeking. That love that has been missing for so long. I am finally a part of something. I will do what is necessary to maintain my recovery and these feelings. I have found common ground in the fellowship of NA and I am forever grateful.

I KNOW THAT WHAT I CAN’T DO ALONE WE CAN DO TOGETHER.

TODAY I AM NOT ALONE!

Thank you for reading today’s blog post.

As always feel free to leave a comment below to let me know you were here.

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Peace and Blessings

Eric Ease

7 thoughts on “I CAN’T. WE CAN

  1. It is always encouraging, and a blessing to read your posts Eric. As I have previously mentioned, I am thankful to never gave been in that position that you experienced, but I know a number of people who are there still, or have been there. Due to some health issues I no longer am volunteering at the Drop In Centre where I would meet and chat with these friends, but I take opportunities to take various friends from there to lunch periodically, and we can chat.
    Reading what you have come from is an encouragement to me, with these guys. I know they can change, with God’s help, and I look at your story to boost me whenever I see someone who tells me they are too far gone. Thank you Brother, appreciate you.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you for your kind words and never ending encouragement. I pray that your health issues get better and you can go about your daily routine once again. I wish nothing but the best for your friends and all those at the drop in center. I know its not easy but I also know that it is possible. I will keep them all and you in prayer my friend. Thank you again for always posting a reply to my blog. I truly appreciate everything that you write. Your words have lifted me up on more than one occasion. Have a blessed day George.

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  2. Yay! Love this phrase it’s actually the theme for this year’s NA London convention (8-10th April Friends meeting house 173-177 Euston Road Euston London EW1 2BJ ) can’t wait to go we most definitely can – I can’t – what ever our individual addictions we can’t do this alone, the rooms work we get the strength and hope we need there – but even if we don’t have a meeting we are still not alone with our HP looking out for us. Thank you Eric once again words of wisdom x

    Liked by 1 person

    • I also love this phrase and it has proven to be absolutely true. I did not believe at first but had to learn the hard way that I cannot do this alone. Today thank God, I don’t have to. Thank you Karen. I always look forward to reading your responses to my posts. I truly always appreciate your feedback. It means the world to me and always lifts my spirit.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I also was in complete denial. Although I’d been given 3 months to live by my psychiatrist in Jamaica, and was warned that every time I made myself sick on that quantity of cocaine I could give myself a fatal heart attack, I thought I was a socialite and party animal who had simply partied a bit hard. I so agree with what you have gained from recovery. I basically don’t have a family, the only person I have is my father who I’ve had a very difficult relationship with. But I am never alone because of the people in recovery who are always around me. I have spent every Christmas with recovery people, rather than my family, since I got clean at the beginning of 2005. Although I am now in family therapy with my father, trying to improve the relationship. Without recovery I would probably be dead but if I was alive I would be incredibly miserable…

    Liked by 2 people

  4. I also was in complete denial. Although I’d been given 3 months to live by my psychiatrist in Jamaica, and was warned that every time I made myself sick on that quantity of cocaine I could give myself a fatal heart attack, I thought I was a socialite and party animal who had simply partied a bit hard. I so agree with what you have gained from recovery. I basically don’t have a family, the only person I have is my father who I’ve had a very difficult relationship with. But I am never alone because of the people in recovery who are always around me. I have spent every Christmas with recovery people, rather than my family, since I got clean at the beginning of 2005. Although I am now in family therapy with my father, trying to improve the relationship. Without recovery I would probably be dead but if I was alive I would be incredibly miserable…

    Liked by 1 person

    • I am glad to hear that you have also gained some acceptance. Denial is a character defect that I cannot indulge in today. I can also relate to not having a family. Although I have some relatives I have burned many a bridge in my active addiction and it will take some time to mend that I am currently working on making my amends. I also spend the holidays with my recovery family. It helps me to get by. Congratulations on staying clean since 05 you are a inspiration for a new comer such as myself. I never thought I would ever be able to stay clean. Let alone get 2yrs 4mo and 14 days. I surely would be dead without recovery and the rooms. I am forever grateful. Thank you for sharing your identification and ESH. I truly appreciate you taking the time to read and respond to my posts. Have a awesome day.

      Liked by 1 person

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