As many of you who read my blog know. I just turned 50 years old on January 20th. Looking back I would never have guessed that I would live to see this grand age. Growing up 50 was old. I was reminded of that the other day when I heard a child call his father old when he said he was 51. Lol.
Shortly after that I started thinking about my own life. I started to beat myself up in my head for all the wasted years and the things I didn’t accomplish. I began to slip into a slight depressed state and wondered if I might be kidding myself thinking that I can start to live a life worth living at 50.
I spoke to a few of the men in my life and they helped me to realize that first off 50 is not old. That I am not washed-up and ready to be put out to pasture. Yes I can start to live a life worth living at 50. It’s never too late to start over. I am grateful for the people in my life. When I begin to doubt myself I am grateful that I have people just like me who can relate, offer suggestions and bring me back to reality.
The reality is I am not old. I have a lot of good years left and I am in a position to make something great happen. It’s never to late unless I decided to give up and stay stuck in the why me pity party. I do not. I will not.
I am healthy, happy, free from active addiction, have faith in a power greater than myself today. I have a girlfriend, family and friends that love me. I am truly blessed.
I have no reason to feel regret over the past. It’s over and done with. I have learned some valuable lessons and survived a hell that most people would have folded like a wet cardboard box. I am blessed to be able to share my experiences with others without fear in the hopes that my story can touch someone and they too realize that they can change their life too.
I am embarking on a new journey. A life that for a long time I was only able to dream about. I am experiencing life for the first time without any mind altering substances, without depending on someone else to take care of me, without having to live in a cold and dark apartment because I didn’t pay my bills. I am becoming a responsible and productive member of society.
Do I have fear about this journey.
Do I have doubts about my abilities.
AT TIMES YES.
The difference is that today I feel deep down inside that I am ready. I am ready and willing to start this new chapter. To take a risk and not allow my fears to dictate the direction of my life anymore.
I heard it said that a goal without action is just a dream.
I have been awakened.
Peace and blessings