The way I talk to myself can determine how my life will take shape. I have learned that negative self talk can stunt my growth and keep me stuck in a never ending cycle of negativity and self destruction.
For many years there was only one type of conversation that I had with myself. It was always negative and downgrading. I always knocked myself for not being this or that. I would be very hard on myself and I began to believe those lies at a very early age. So for decades I believed that I was worthless and useless. I couldn’t see my potential let alone believe that I was capable of doing anything worthwhile. Needless to say I made a lot of excuses and procrastination became a way of life. I would allow my negative voice to take hold and I would talk myself out of even attempting to achieve even the simplest tasks.
One of the greatest lies I told myself was I would never be able to stop using. That I would die using drugs and that’s just the way it was going to be. So of course telling myself this I would never try hard to stop. I tried the bare minimum and when it didn’t work that was just a reinforcement of the lie. I didn’t realize then, that It was me sabotaging myself from the start. That I was speaking it into existence every time I told myself that I couldn’t. I became so toxic to myself that I saw no way out and believed it to be my destiny.
Well I couldn’t have been more wrong.
When I first started my journey in recovery. I was full of negativity, negative self talk and doubt. As a result I couldn’t stay clean. I would pick and choose what I would apply because I believed I was wasting my time. After a few tries and some suggestions from more experienced members. I began to make some progress. With that progress came hope. The hope that I could actually stay clean became positive self talk. I can do this. I am doing this. My life began to change and my hope turned into faith. I began to talk different to myself and others. I began to believe in myself and my ability to stay clean. I was sold on the idea and I haven’t looked back since.
I also learned that a positive attitude towards life in general can change things. I decided to try it in all areas of my life. By applying a few basic principles like Honesty, Open Mindedness and Willingness my life has changed tremendously. I still have my moments of doubt and negativity. After all I’ve been that way for decades. The difference is I do not allow it to dictate my life’s direction today. I can choose to stay in a funk of negativity or change my thoughts to the positive things.
Today I choose to be positive. It’s always a choice. I am grateful for the ability to make better decisions. It makes a world of a difference.
the four agreements by don miguel ruiz. i read this book twice – it changed my belief system! have you read it? if not, please do so…
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No I haven’t. I have access to it and I will read it. Thank you Mark.
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You are very wise my friend… Tolle says some of the most enlightened souls had to face major turmoil to get where they are…
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Thank you Juan. I appreciate that. Also thank you for introducing me to Eckhart Tolle. I really enjoy reading his work. Have a great day my friend.
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You are so right about the importance of self-talk. Although I am now 10 years clean and happier than I have ever been I am still aggressive towards myself when I make even the tiniest mistake. I think I find it hard to express anger in recovery, which I did not when I was drinking, and turn the anger inward. http://bit.ly/1ER5cLY
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I am a expert in turning my anger inward. Thank you for sharing your identification. Congratulations on your 10 years. I am very critical of myself but I am learning to give myself a break and congratulate myself when I do good. It’s not easy but definitely doable.
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Have compassion on your suffering, kind of a Buddhist principle. It’s easy to have compassion for others suffering but your own, it’s always hard…
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Absolutely. It has proven difficult but not impossible. I am practicing it and getting better. Thanks Juan. Have a fantastic day.
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