The way I talk to myself can determine how my life will take shape. I have learned that negative self talk can stunt my growth and keep me stuck in a never ending cycle of negativity and self destruction.
For many years there was only one type of conversation that I had with myself. It was always negative and downgrading. I always knocked myself for not being this or that. I would be very hard on myself and I began to believe those lies at a very early age. So for decades I believed that I was worthless and useless. I couldn’t see my potential let alone believe that I was capable of doing anything worthwhile. Needless to say I made a lot of excuses and procrastination became a way of life. I would allow my negative voice to take hold and I would talk myself out of even attempting to achieve even the simplest tasks.
One of the greatest lies I told myself was I would never be able to stop using. That I would die using drugs and that’s just the way it was going to be. So of course telling myself this I would never try hard to stop. I tried the bare minimum and when it didn’t work that was just a reinforcement of the lie. I didn’t realize then, that It was me sabotaging myself from the start. That I was speaking it into existence every time I told myself that I couldn’t. I became so toxic to myself that I saw no way out and believed it to be my destiny.
Well I couldn’t have been more wrong.
When I first started my journey in recovery. I was full of negativity, negative self talk and doubt. As a result I couldn’t stay clean. I would pick and choose what I would apply because I believed I was wasting my time. After a few tries and some suggestions from more experienced members. I began to make some progress. With that progress came hope. The hope that I could actually stay clean became positive self talk. I can do this. I am doing this. My life began to change and my hope turned into faith. I began to talk different to myself and others. I began to believe in myself and my ability to stay clean. I was sold on the idea and I haven’t looked back since.
I also learned that a positive attitude towards life in general can change things. I decided to try it in all areas of my life. By applying a few basic principles like Honesty, Open Mindedness and Willingness my life has changed tremendously. I still have my moments of doubt and negativity. After all I’ve been that way for decades. The difference is I do not allow it to dictate my life’s direction today. I can choose to stay in a funk of negativity or change my thoughts to the positive things.
Today I choose to be positive. It’s always a choice. I am grateful for the ability to make better decisions. It makes a world of a difference.