Today was the first night of my Training for my H & I commitment. It was interesting being in a detox and listening to the residents share about their plans after they leave. What was really interesting was the fact that they all knew they needed help, we’re eager to participate and all planned on going from the detox into residential treatment facilities.
One guy shared and I was reminded of my own story. We have a lot in common as far as our journey through addiction. I am still amazed sometimes when I hear someone that I don’t know and have never met share my story. I reminds me that I am not unique and I am definitely not alone.
I always feel a sense of gratitude when I leave a detox. I have had my share of treatment facilities and institutions. Although when I was in them I didn’t utilize the life saving information because I was still in denial and wasn’t ready to stop. Although I had a inkling of an idea there was a problem, I didn’t take the suggestion to make a meeting when I got out. I always felt the need to go show everyone how good I looked and it always ended with me using with those same people.
Staying away from people, places and things is one of the suggestions that I never listened to. I relapsed several times as a direct result. I have people, places and things in my family and my neighborhood. I had to learn how to work around them. It wasn’t easy but I eventually was able to get and stay clean in the same neighborhood that I used in. I still live in the same area but I have made some drastic changes to when I go out and what routes I take.
I am in no way saying that it’s OK. That you should go around the old familiar playgrounds, but I had to do it for me. I could have moved away but no matter where I go, drugs will be there. I will be there. I had to do it for myself. I had to be stronger than my addiction because my life depends on it. I have changed neighborhoods before and sought out the people who used very easily. The cycle remained the same until my thinking changed.
I’ve been blessed to have lived 2 lives in 1 lifetime. I am staying clean and working vigorously to keep my recovery. It is my responsibility and I take it very seriously. I’ve taken life for granted in the past and today I know how truly precious life is. I also know that I am not promised tomorrow. If I go back out and try it again. I will not make it back. I keep that thought first and foremost in my mind. Part of maintaining my recovery is sharing my experiences and giving back what was given to me. That is why I feel so strongly about doing service in H & I. I have an obligation to give back. It is my duty to help others who are still suffering in the grips of active addiction.
I have found my purpose beyond sharing here on my blog. Hospitals and Institutions is the next level that I have been looking for. I will be giving back to others and helping myself at the same time. That is truly a blessing.
Peace and blessings