When I first came into recovery. I wanted everything to happen now. I wanted all my problems to disappear and my life to suddenly become magically delicious. I was looking for a speedy response, a quick fix, the magic elixir.
I found out the hard way that nothing good ever comes from the easy way. In fact I already knew that. After all I’ve taken the easy way out all my life and look where it got me. I was never that guy who did anything that was hard. I would search for loopholes in just about everything I have ever done.
I realize today that recovery is a life long process. That I am only going to get out of it what I put into it. I cannot go about my recovery doing the same thing and expecting different results. That’s not to say I haven’t tried, because I have. I have to be on constant guard against that thinking pattern, it’s very easy to slip back into my old way of thinking but can be difficult sometimes to get out of it. If I am not vigilant I can get myself into a situation that I may not come out of clean, free or God knows what else could happen.
I refuse to find out. I refuse to allow my old lifestyle to gain a foothold again. I love my new life too much today. I look forward to seeing where else my recovery can take me. I have accomplished so much already and I know that through God’s grace I can only continue to rise. I am learning how to slow down and not want everything to be happen overnight. I am not in a race. I am grateful for where I am at because I am right where I need to be. I want my recovery to last for the rest of my life and not fizzle or fade like a fad. I will take my time, savor the experiences, freedom, friends and everything else in between. My Journey has just begun and I will take it one day at a time.
This is my life. It’s life or death.
Today I choose to live.