I keep hearing people say feelings aren’t facts. What the fuck does that mean. It’s a fact that in active addiction I was feeling sad, angry, lonely, confused, worthless, hurt, pain and misery. It’s a fact that today I feel happy, hopeful, useful and plain ole amazingly great. So if feelings aren’t facts then tell me what are they.
I am grateful for the process of recovery. I have found out that I can Feel things other than anger. I can do more than just hold resentments and plot revenge. I can release those feelings by talking about them. I can gain an understanding of them by sharing them with others who may have been feeling the same way at some time. It’s a relief to be able to get things off my chest and not stuff them and hurt myself.
Now honestly speaking all that sounds good and is good but I have to actually apply it to my life. When situations arise I need to be ready, willing and able to use these tools that I have readily available to me. Because after all, I can create problems in my head that aren’t really there and then have feelings behind those imaginary problems. Which can cause me to act out in more ways than using. I have been there and done that.
Not today Jose.
I am still a work in progress. I am thankful that I remember that. That I am in a process not a race. That I don’t get frustrated and run away. I fall short at times and revert back to the old method of grinding my teeth and having tantrums. I can admit my faults and can only practice getting better at them…
One Day At A Time.