For a long time I struggled to find my true identity. Thinking back to as far as my elementary school days, I  wished I was someone else. Who ever I thought I was back then I didn’t like so I began to mimic what I thought I liked in other people. And so began the long life of deception and deceit.

Somewhere, somehow I believed that I wasn’t good enough. I wasn’t smart enough, brave enough, handsome enough. That no one would ever like someone like me. I have negative self talked myself from the beginning. That negativity aimed towards myself eventually led to my lack of self worth and self love.

Fast forward to today.

As I am beginning to shed some of the many masks, alter egos and false identities. I am forced to feel my feelings and not run from them I am feeling like that lost little boy all over again. Vulnerable and confused. Awkward and a misfit. I find that I am not seeking comfort from within but from the outside. From material things and from acceptance of others. The same behavior that led me to using drugs.

I know that I will never find true happiness, Love or satisfaction from anyone unless I can find it within myself first. I did a lot of damage to myself over the years and I am aware that I will fall short at times. I just have to continue on my road to recovery knowing that I will be alright in the long run.

Change happens over time.
Not over night.

So I keep repeating to myself that I love myself, respect myself and I am worthy.

So will the real Eric please stand up.

Peace and Blessings

Eric Ease


  1. That quote at the beginning says it all; everything starts with self the most important of these is self-love! While I haven’t known you for long, I see a person who should be very proud of himself and who is very worthy of everything your heart desires. I agree with what hitandrun1964 said: keep listening to yourself, you are saying all the right things 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    • Self love is difficult sometimes after tearing myself down for so many years but I am learning how to turn the around one day at a time. Thank you for always giving me positive feedback and encouragement Nadine. It means a lot to me. ☺

      Liked by 1 person

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