I used to be so eager to have something that I couldn’t wait to get it. I remember how my impatience would get the best of me and I would give up.
Walking away from the things that I wanted most left me with plenty of regrets. Always kicking myself after the fact. Wishing I would have stayed and stuck it out. Always leaving 5 minutes before the miracle.
A lesson will repeat itself until it is learned.
I am in such a situation right now. I feel happy in it but impatience is popping it’s ugly head up once again. I am hearing all the lies that I was led to believe throughout the years play out in my head. The same lies that brought about the same regrets time and time again.
This time the lesson has been learned and understood. I will take my time, get to know you. Waiting is hard. But I truly believe that it will be well worth it. I hope I am right.
Peace and Blessings
It’s a fact that I can’t change the past. What’s done is done. Staying stuck, reliving old and painful situations leaves me bitter and resentful. It keeps me from enjoying the life that is happening in the here and now. It will ruin my chances of having a happy future.
For way too long I have allowed myself to remain frozen in time. A time that was fueled by drugs, anger, resentments, pain, misery and suffering. I wasn’t happy and I made everyone around me unhappy too. The bitterness that I displayed was a direct result of my not being able to let go.
I was angry at the world. I was miserable and wanted you to be miserable to. I held everyone around me responsible for my failure. I pointed the finger at anyone that hurt or disappointed me and blamed everyone else for the way my life turned out. I lived in self pity for years and kept reliving my past as if it were happening at that very moment. It played over and over again in my head. A non stop looping video of hurts, failures and disappointments.
Living like that stopped me from enjoying life. I missed out on countless opportunities. Life just passed me by.
Now it’s like waking up from a coma only to discover that 40 years has gone by. No one remembers me because I wasn’t present in the moment. I was too busy living in the past. I wasn’t a active participant in anything that mattered. Time kept moving on and I didn’t.
The hardest thing I ever had to do was learning to let it go. Holding on for so long seemed like the right thing to do at the time but I have learned that no one suffers from it but me. I must let go so I can be free from the past. Enjoy the present and look forward to the future.
Peace and Blessings