LEARNING NOT TO COMPARE MYSELF WITH YOU


image

For a long time,  I dreamed of being someone else. I wanted what others had. I wanted to do what others did. I compared my life to those around me. I always thought every one had it better than me. That their lives was more exciting than mines. I was always comparing me to you. I never measured up in my mind.

I always felt that something was missing. I couldn’t understand why at the time. Why I always felt less than. Why I felt I didn’t belong. So I began to live a fantasy. I began creating false images of myself. I began to wear masks. I found out that I could be anyone I wanted to be. I was able to escape those feelings by becoming someone else.

For a while it felt good. I was able to fit in and act like others did. Do the things that others did. All those things that I was told not to do, I did. I was finally free. Or so I thought. I didn’t know then that there was a price to pay. I didn’t know that I was selling my soul, I was trading my original for a counterfeit. I was giving up on a life promised in return for a life of pain,  misery and suffering.

I didn’t know then what I know now. I underestimated my ability to fit in,  to make something of myself. I doubted my abilities and took a shortcut. I settled for the easy way out instead of putting in the work necessary to overcome my fears and insecurities. I was unable to see the beauty that was inside of me by comparing myself to others.

I am honestly practicing loving myself today. After years of telling myself that I’m not worthy and faking my true identity. It is hard work. I still fall short and compare myself to others and wish I was like them in one aspect or another. Like when I see others who can strike up a conversation with someone so easily.

Today I can realize that defect and work on changing it when it occurs. I am in a process that I have to make changes to behaviors that I have had for decades. I remind myself daily that it doesn’t happen over night. I will fall short at times and it’s OK.

I am right where I need to be.

Peace and Blessings

Eric Ease

6 thoughts on “LEARNING NOT TO COMPARE MYSELF WITH YOU

  1. Same, like my brother who seems to be able to chat away easily to anyone while i struggle to get out the front door, i feel you. Thanx 4 sharing bro, one of the reasons i love WP, we are not alone. Peace

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Thanks for sharing this Eric, so wild that just last week while visiting NC, I shared on this similarly. Why did I always compare myself to other people? Why did I never compare them to me? Why did I say this person or that person is my role model or hero? Why can’t I be my own role model? Thru working some steps I’ve learned that I can be that role model…IF, I live what I say I’m living. You see, I no longer need to impress anyone with what I say, I just have to impress ME with HOW I LIVE. Peace&Love, jen R.

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s