WHY I CARE TO SHARE MY STORY


CARE

I have been sharing here on my blog for almost 4 years now. I started when I first came into recovery back in 2011. I’ve shared my ups and my downs. I have shared my feelings and my thoughts. My triumphs and my failures. At best I try to share as much of my life in recovery as possible without sharing too much of the negative side of my addiction. I give glimpses of some of the horrors that I have seen and been through without going into the specifics. I tell my story how it was then and how it is now.

I used to wonder if I was doing the right thing. Exposing myself for the world to read. I already know that there is a negative stigma attached to the words addiction, addict, drugs and even recovery. I also know that there can be some negative repercussions behind it. To tell you the truth. I don’t care.The public can and will use this against me and try to make me feel like I have done something wrong and deserve to be alienated or punished for it. The public has a unhealthy fear and a uninformed opinion about addicts and people in recovery and they need to be informed. It is time that people stop turning a blind eye and start getting the information needed to not only understand addiction but to help fight it.

I feel that my story is one that needs to be told and that nobody can do it better than me.

I want people to know that addicts and people in recovery are human and not cast away’s. Not lost souls or garbage that you just toss to the side and forget about. That we are suffering from a disease not a lack of respect, scruples or discipline. That it is hard enough dealing with something that I can’t describe let alone understand and the last thing I need is you judging me. People need to know that addicts have no control over their addictions.

People need to know that its not about why won’t they just quit. I wish I was able to just quit. But the obsession to use was over powering and the compulsion to continue using no matter what was the end result. That once I was caught up in the grips of addiction all rational thoughts begin to cease and self centered thoughts on getting and using and finding a way to get more begin to take over. It is not personal, it is not intentional. It is not about you. Not at all.

The world needs to understand that addiction is a mental, physical and spiritual disease that is hell bent on destroying not only my life but the lives of those around me as well. Addiction is a deadly disease. I know first hand the damage it causes, to not only the addict but to everyone affected by the addict.

I want people to know, to understand that addiction is not the end of the road. That there is a way out. That if I can do it, SO CAN YOU. That is why I share my story. I want the addict who is still suffering and the family member to know that there are people who have made it out and are living productive lives. That they too can do it.

I had to learn how to ask for help. I had to want to receive the help that people were offering me. I could not do it for anyone else. And no one else could do it for me.

I had to do it and want it for myself.

14 thoughts on “WHY I CARE TO SHARE MY STORY

  1. I am glad I read this post today, this last week has been the worse one yet – I’ve blogged it for those that care to know. This is exactly what I have been fighting with all week! I know he can’t make a rational decision now he’s back in the deep dark place of addiction, but I can’t just use that as an excuse for his terrible behaviour! No he’s not a bad man 90% of the time, but the addiction takes over and the behaviours that ensue are not acceptable. I have found myself having to justify to friends and family why he doesn’t mean it and yet they can’t understand it. They don’t understand that drugs make him act without thought of consiquences and yet when I say that I am told to stop supporting him, that what he has done is wrong and bad, and yes it is but I understand that sometimes it’s even out of his control. Thank you for sharing this I understand it I see it I live with the consiquences of it. It’s as bad for the receiver as the giver. I thank your HP that you have come thro it and can share your experiences with us giving us all strength and hope.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks Karen. I’ve read your blog and left a comment. You shouldn’t have to keep making excuses for his behavior. Sometimes we have to let go of something that is not helping us. I am learning that today. Not everyone in my life is meant to be there. I have had to cut off my own flesh and blood. My own brother. He is active and I cannot associate with him any longer. It hurts but today it’s about my happiness. I will keep you in prayer Karen. You’re a good person and definitely do not deserve this. ☺

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  2. Hey Eric. I read your post on the day you shared it, and thought “terrific stuff, I have to let Eric know how good it is”, then “busyness” got in the way and I didn’t get back to it right away.
    Anyway, each of your writings are powerful, cause for creative thought.
    You are gifted and talented Eric, and I (as well as many others) am glad you are sharing with us.

    While reading this, a thought or two came to mind. Do you have opportunities to speak in school settings, or service club gatherings at all?

    As good as it is for each of us to read your truths and experiences on your blog, there are thousands who would benefit, who will never see your writing here. If you could share in schools, possibly many who are being tempted to use, may reconsider, perhaps some who have started the cycle may decide to seek help to stop it before it gets even worse.

    Thank you Eric for all you are doing, while I know everything takes up time, and when you are also working you have to budget your daily hours, but I am believing, hoping, and trusting more doors will be opened for you to be helping many people.

    God’s Blessings my Friend.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you George for you kind words and compliments. I appreciate them. I have had the opportunity to share my story but only in a recovery setting (meetings) I would love to one day get to speak to our youth at schools and other events. I have been connecting with others in other areas of recovery and I know that eventually when the time is right the opportunity will present itself. I have been wanting to do some kind of outreach and I will be looking into what part I can play and what I would need to do. Thank you for your suggestions as they coincide with what I am feeling that I should be doing. Thank you again George for all your support and encouragement. Its good to know that I am capable today of helping others and that people appreciate my efforts. Have a blessed day.

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  3. Yes to everything you wrote Eric! As a family member of former addicts/alcoholics, I know first hand the pain and devastation addiction can cause and when you are in it, it seems like you will never get out and this is the only miserable life you will have. Fortunately my husband & sister were able to get out, but my brother wasn’t and that is a pain all who loved him will have to deal with every day. We have to speak out, addicts, those in recovery & the family members and people who love them so that we can break the stigma surrounding addiction and show people that recovery is possible! Keep sharing your story because it helps and inspires others; proud of you 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • Absolutely. I remember those days of desperation and loneliness. I remember wishing I had a way out. My prayers go everyday to those who lost the battle and for those who are still sick and suffering. I am only beginning my Journey in Recovery but I want to let others know that recovery is possible. I pray that I can reach people through my experiences. I know that somewhere in the near future I will find other ways to spread the word and break the stigma. I definitely want to do that. Give back what was so freely given to me. Making my ammends to the best of my ability. Thank you Nadine for all that you do. I read your blog and appreciate how much you do for this cause.

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