PRACTICING FORGIVENESS


image

I have learned that holding on to past hurts is harmful to me. It stunts my growth process and keeps me from making any forward progress.

Letting go and forgiving past hurts was unheard of. I would hold a grudge and have resentments and anger towards people for years. I used to be a very spiteful person and could lay and wait for the opportune time to extract my revenge.

I understand today how damaging that behavior is. That still doesn’t mean that I have mastered forgiveness. I have not. But today I am practicing forgiving others because I know that I too need forgiveness. It’s easier said than done, but I have the willingness to practice it and I will eventually be better at accepting it for what it is and it’s intended purpose.

Learning how to forgive takes time but so far I have noticed that I am feeling a lot lighter. Less stressed and angry as a result. This is all new territory for me but being honest about it, having the willingness and open mindedness to attempt it has proven to be very helpful in my growing process.

And for that I am truly grateful.

image

Peace and Blessings

Eric Ease

2 thoughts on “PRACTICING FORGIVENESS

  1. Hey Eric,
    This topic gets me into trouble. Well, that’s not completely accurate. Forgiveness to me is something that needs to be earned. Like respect or love. A lot of people think I’m crazy with that viewpoint and I understand why. They tell us that grudges and resentments can cause us an untimely and possibly violent relapses. I agree with that. What I struggle with is if I “give away” forgiveness to the unearned, am I not enabling future wrongs to be done to me? If there is no repercussions to people who wrong us, why would an unempathetic or sadistic person stop doing whatever caused the forgiveness proposition? I found a way around this dilemma. Instead of forgiving someone who does not deserve forgiveness I must work through the specific issue that hurt me, and once I have come to terms with what they did, I find closure and acceptance of the wrongdoing. Once I get closure, there is no grudge or resentment to be had. I worry that society mixes up these important terms and I think it can be dangerous as a whole. Maybe I am completely full of shit here but let’s say I stole $100 from you and you have to confront me about it before I fess up. Then I say “fine! I’m sorry man. It was a mistake.” You decide to forgive me and two weeks later I take you for another cool $50. Again you confront me and again I give my empty apologies. You hesitantly forgive again and keep hanging around me but one week later, I do it again.
    Now drugs aside from this hypothetical, let’s pretend my motive was just to acquire unearned money. Forgiving my actions without receiving a promise to stop and a guarantee to never repeats my action, would you not be subsidizing my criminal actions? I don’t know for sure. These are just some thoughts. It sounds more rational if you decided I was an amoral person and to not forgive me. Then you could process the entire bad situation however was needed until you gained closure and acceptance of my past actions against you.
    I don’t know……what do you think? Thanks for sharing. This is in no way a criticism of your post. Just some thoughts that have bounced in my head about forgiveness.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you Dustin. I appreciate your feedback and your take on forgiveness. I know that for me grudges have weighed me down and keep me stuck in anger over the situation. I agree with you as far as forgiving someone and they are not sincere with their apologies leaving the door open for them to do it again. For me the forgiveness is me letting them off the hook completely. I am not even looking for apologies or anything from them. I am forgiving them so I can move on. It’s me letting the situation and the person go. Depending on the severity of what happened I have been known to stop any and all interactions with people leaving no room for them to harm me ever again. I can forgive but I will never forget. If I know you owe me money for instance. You can never get another dime from me. I still have plenty of work to do in this area. Lol. I try to free myself from my past hurts because they have a way of shifting my mood when I think of them, but letting them go has proven to be very freeing. I guess what I am really trying to say is everyone has there own interpretation of forgiveness and how to let go. I am open to different ideas and suggestions on just about any subject. Thank you for sharing yours. I didn’t take your comment as criticism. It is definitely an eye opener to hear other views. I appreciate you taking the time to share with me. Have a blessed day my friend.

      Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s