STOP TRYING TO FIX IT.


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When I read this quote it hit me hard. It made me realize that I have been chasing after something that I will never get back. It was a once in a lifetime shot thats gone.

It takes me back to my active addiction. For years chasing a high that I would never be able to duplicate. Chasing after a dream that would never become a reality. Trying so hard but always falling short. Yet and still trying anyway.

In recovery we equate insanity with doing the same things, expecting different results. I always looked at that as meaning my life in my addiction. Using drugs with the hope that this time would be different. I am beginning to realize that insanity is not only referring to my active addiction. Insanity still manifests itself in my life in recovery.

Insanity is still active in certain areas of my life. It’s just showing up in different ways. It all has to do with my thinking and my using. Not using drugs but using people, places, things and situations. Addiction is cunning, baffling, insidious and insistent. It never stops trying to find ways and means to make me destroy myself.

One way or another it doesn’t want me to be happy. It wants me dead but will settle for me being miserable. I have to be on constant lookout for signs. Attitudes and behavioral changes. Its a never ending battle.

Letting go is easy, not taking it back is where I struggle. I try to damn hard to have a peaceful existence with myself and others. Trying to manipulate situations for favorable outcomes. Especially in relationships. I need to let go. Its broken and I will not try any longer to fix it.

I will fall back, stay in position for the blessings that are coming and stop trying to create own.

Peace and Blessings

Eric Ease

12 thoughts on “STOP TRYING TO FIX IT.

  1. I have learned that I don’t have that kind of power to fix anyone or anything to my liking. They have to allow me to. Just as no one can make me FEEL any certain way, I have to allow them to for they are just as powerless as I. I had to drop the E and let it GO. Blessings, jen

    Liked by 2 people

    • I need to learn how to accept people for who they are and learn how to walk away instead of trying to fix people to my liking. Lessons learned the hard way once again,.

      Like

          • It’s a trap we all fall into, doing the same things over and over expecting the outcome to be different this time! God knows how many times I thought this time will be different this time he will understand but that’s just me trying to change him not me…one day at a time is all we can ever hope for! At least you have the insight to recognise the issue, that in itself is a majorly positive step, you can’t change it if you don’t see it. I guess the trouble with addictive behaviours is we want quick fixes – want it now. Our programmes teach us patience that’s for sure! Keep at it focus on you 😊

            Liked by 1 person

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