I’ve heard it said over and over that feelings aren’t facts.

I am having trouble with that one.

Feelings are facts. I’ve been stabbed, that shit hurt. I was in pain. I felt pain.  Its a fact that I was in pain. There no denying that.

On the flipside of the coin

I have always had feelings of worthlessness, uselessness and hopelessness does that mean that I am worthless, useless and hopeless? NO those feelings are NOT facts. Those are feelings brought on by my fear of success, my fear of trying something new or my fears of moving forward in general. Being that in my active addiction I failed at some things my disease (my own thinking) would love for me to believe that I will fail at everything I ever try. That I might as well not even bother.

All to often when I was using I believed those lies. Those feelings of being inadequate, useless and worthless. I allowed my fears to keep me pinned down as if I was in a fire fight with a enemy sniper. Those feelings kept me using more and more to try to cover up those feelings.

Using because of uncomfortable feelings, to try to cover up uncomfortable feelings. Damn confusing aint it.

Today I am grateful that I do not allow my feelings to dictate my thoughts and turn into negative actions. Feelings were a trigger for me. Today I am aware of this and I discuss what I am feeling with others.

Peace and Blessings

Eric Ease