So Ive decided to make a series of posts finding, naming and exposing my triggers. I know that I have many, I also know there are some that I am not aware of. I will post each one as I discover them and how they affect me.
One of my most destructive triggers is anger. I have a bit of a temper. I have gotten a lot better at managing it as a result of doing some work but it is still somewhat detrimental and hazardous to my overall health and well-being.
Being a product of dysfunctional family. I have never learned how to deal with my feelings in a healthy manner. I used to get so angry that I couldn’t think of anything other than the thing that got me so pissed off. I used to cover up those feelings on a daily basis and that became my escape. Using was my solution and therefore became my coping mechanism.
Today although I have a slight handle on my anger and have learned a few new ways to vent and release the anger in a healthy manner. I still at times have difficulty letting go. Anger turns into resentment and can eventually lead me to rationalize that I should use something in order to cope.
The old habits die hard. But having gained a little knowledge about my disease those thoughts are short lived. Thanks to my ability to share what I am going through. I am grateful that I do not stuff those feelings of anger and rage.
I talk about it or I will smoke about it.
Peace and Blessings