For a long time, I dreamed of the day when I would not use drugs. I would have dreams of a family, car, a good job and living a normal life. It was only a dream because I never was able to believe that I could actually ever achieve it.
I had many dreams that I would brush off as fantasy. I would say to myself
“Who are you kidding”
I failed at more things than I care to admit and low self esteem kept me stuck in a self made cycle, no prison.
I was missing the main ingredients to make my dreams become realities. I was missing the action. I was so stuck in my negative thinking that I killed my dreams before they could ever come to life. I self medicated thinking it made me feel better, but in reality it fueled that negativity and helped keep my dreams stuffed deep down inside. I wasn’t able to see anything good because of the black cloud that hung over me.
I am learning so many things about myself and life in general. I am able today to take healthy risks, to explore new things and pursue dreams that I never thought I would ever be able to. I am living the dream. The one where I wouldn’t be using drugs. I am doing things today as a direct result that I could only imagine a couple of years ago.
I am proud of myself
I am taking action and not taking a back seat. I am awakening and growing and doing.
And it feels amazing.
Peace and Blessings