I am learning to let go of my past but there are still those who choose to hold on to theirs. They continually try to make me feel guilty about it and constantly throw it in my face.
There was a time in my life when it worked. I would feel guilty or bad about things I have done and would try to make things better by always saying yes to whatever demands were being made. I would do things against my will for the sake of attempting to make peace.
I realize today that I was not helping the situation or healing myself. I was in reality being held prisoner by my past and being manipulated by those individuals. I also realize today that I cannot change the past. I cannot erase what happened by being a yes man. I have to move past it, apologize when I can and not be made to feel like I owe someone because of it.
If I have made ammends and someone doesn’t accept it, that is not on me. It is no longer my responsibility to continue to try to make it right. I will not be held hostage by anyone because they will not forgive me.
I have learned to say NO. Regardless of how I feel. I am learning that I cannot keep being a slave of my past by trying to make things right in the present.
Just for today I will not feel guilty because I said no. I will set boundaries and continue to find balance in my life. With or without you.
Peace and Blessings