YOU HAVE TO BELIEVE


believe

In the beginning I came into recovery broken, lost, lonely and desperate. I didn’t have any hope that I could ever change. I believed all the lies that I have been told and that I had been telling myself over the years. After all I was living proof that I was nothing but a failure. Everything I touched turned out bad, everything I tried failed. I felt worthless, hopeless and useless I had no self esteem and everyone confirmed my feelings when they spoke to me or when they spoke of me.

My biggest problem was that I didn’t believe in myself. I didn’t think I was worthy of having friends or being around people in general. I didn’t believe that I could stay clean. I didn’t believe that my life would change or that anyone could ever understand what I had been through let alone help me. I thought that my situation was unique and that no one could have ever had it as bad as I did. I didn’t believe in myself because no one else believed in me. I thought they were right to put me down because I put myself down. I didn’t believe in anything anymore. I would never change.

I couldn’t have been more wrong.

So of course when I came into recovery I expected the same thing to happen. In the beginning I couldn’t tell people how I really felt, I was afraid that they would treat me the same way and I didn’t need anymore people against me. But it wasn’t like that at all. I was welcomed with a hug, offered coffee and a seat in the front row. I was skeptical of all this niceness. It was foreign to me. Nobody wanted me around but these people did. The more I kept coming around I started to become comfortable with this new environment. I became willing to share about myself, a little at first but then I realized that others there were just like me and had been where I just came from. I was able to identify with their stories and that made it easier to share my own.

I began to believe. I had found hope. I began to feel like I finally belonged somewhere.

There are still times that I suffer from those feelings but they do not come as often anymore. My life began to change for the better when I started to believe that I could change. Once I believed that it was possible I became open to try new things, to live a different way. I became open to suggestions from others who have been in my shoes and were willing to share with me how they did it. I began to do those things and my belief grew even stronger. I know realize that what others think of me is not my reality. I will always have people who do not believe in me or what I say. I cannot blame some of them because I was a habitual liar and was never a man of my word. Today it’s ok that they don’t believe I prove people wrong every day with my actions. I no longer have a need for you to believe what I say. I do my best to maintain my new way of life on a daily basis and that is all I can do.

pain

I am not here to prove anything to anyone but myself.

I believe in myself even if you do not. The proof is in the way I live today.

Thank you for being on this journey with me. Please feel free to read more of my story on my blog at.

http://www.fromstruggletostrength.com

Peace and blessings

Eric Ease

8 thoughts on “YOU HAVE TO BELIEVE

  1. Hi Eric. You are so right that belief in yourself is so important. We all need that in order to have a satisfying life. One thing I believe is the importance of the words we speak. So often many people speak sarcastically, even of themselves (ourselves), putting ourselves down and speaking negatively about ourselves. We do this often thinking we will get a laugh from others. As we speak these words though, they are implanted in our minds and spirits, and the seeds of negativity are planted within us by us. Those planted thoughts may come back to burn yes later on, as we may doubt ourselves,or our capabilities. We need to speak encouraging words about ourselves as well as about others.

    I may have gotten off track here, but anyway, keep on preaching those positive words of encouragement Eric. God’s Blessings.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I agree George. Positive affirmations of self and others. WE are what we say we are. Thank you for your support as always I appreciate you. Peace and blessings brother.

      Like

  2. I like to believe that anyone can do better if that is what they want. I think many people are like me and that at your meetings you were greeted with open arms by many who want to cheer you on. It adds to our faith in humanity. To see someone do something good and true with their lives. You are the Lazarus man EE, we need to believe in people like you who can turn things around.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you Marti. I am now one of those people who reach out to the new comers and believe in them the same way others believed in me. I am grateful and give back what was so freely given to me.

      Liked by 1 person

        • Its such an honor and great feeling helping others who think that they cannot do it and then seeing the change in them when they realize that they can. I can’t keep it unless I give it away. Thank you for all your support and encouragement Marti. I truly appreciate it.

          Liked by 1 person

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