I remember thinking that I was in charge of my life. That everything that happened was a direct result of something I had done. I made it happen all by myself. Me, me ,me.
In reality it was. I am the one who made all those horrible decisions. I was the one who always acted off impulse and paid the price. In reality my best thinking is what got me here.
In charge. Hardly.
I stopped believing in God. I didn’t think that a God, if he is so loving, would have allowed me to suffer the way I did. What I realize now is that my Higher Power was always with me. He was guiding me the whole time. My resistance to that guidance is why I suffered. I wanted to be in charge, but couldn’t get it through my head that God was in charge.
I couldn’t let go of the wheel even though I kept crashing. I was driving without a license or a backseat driver trying to yell directions when I myself was lost.
Today I know that I am not in charge and things that happen to me and for me are all gifts from a Higher Power and can be revoked at any given time. Especially when I take back my will and begin to think that I am in charge.
Cockiness Is A Red Light Indicator.
Peace and Blessings