STEPPING OUT OF THE SHADOWS


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To thine own self be true.

I remember not too long ago pretending to be someone else. It seems so dishonest now, but in my active addiction it was a survival mechanism.

I always pretended to be more than I was. In other words I disliked the real me so I created an alternative. I just knew that If I didn’t like who I was, You wouldn’t either. So before you could get the chance to reject the real me, I pretended to be someone I thought you would approve of.

This went on for years. I created and deleted images and ego’s like some people change their socks. Everyday I had to switch up depending on where I was at. I felt I had to be someone else in order to fit in. To be a part of the crowd. To be loved, liked and accepted. After years of this dishonesty I began to lose who I truly was. I wasnt playing a character any more. I had become a monster, the giant of my own imagination. I became someone who I didn’t even recognize.

All the while there was this little inner voice screaming for help. Somebody help me please. I could hear it. I could feel it, but I couldn’t respond to it. I constantly ignored and eventually it went away. It stopped screaming for help. It died a lonely death. That inner voice was my true self trying to save me from me.

That voice has been awakened again within me. I have been given a second breath, a chance to start over, a fresh  new start. Recovery has awakened that voice.  It has sparked in me the will to carry on. To live a new and exciting life without the use of drugs or people, places or things.

I thought that the voice was gone forever and that I would never get out from under the grips of my deadly disease of addiction. I was wrong and I share my experiences to let others know that they can do it too. I am grateful for this life saving process.

I am uncovering my true self

Peace and Blessings

Eric Ease

6 thoughts on “STEPPING OUT OF THE SHADOWS

      • Me too! Grateful for a the second chances I had since I first tryed recovery in 1992. I clearly remember my first meeting. Back then i was so fear based. I didn’t do anything or go anywhere unless I had some drinks in me. I actually took a to-go cup with me to my first meeting. That was pure insanity!!!

        Liked by 1 person

        • I can relate. I remember the fear and not being open to anything in my beginning. I am grateful to have made it back after going back out so many times. I finally surrendered.

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