IP. Self Acceptance

Before coming to NA, most of us spent our entire lives in self-rejection. We hated ourselves and tried every way we could to become someone different. We wanted to be anyone but who we were. Unable to accept ourselves, we tried to gain the acceptance of others. We wanted other people to give us the love and acceptance we could not give ourselves, but our love and friendship were always conditional. We would do anything for anyone just to gain their acceptance and approval, and then would resent those who wouldn’t respond the way we wanted them to.

Because we could not accept ourselves, we expected to be rejected by others. We would not allow anyone to get close to us for fear that if they really knew us, they would also hate us. To protect ourselves from vulnerability, we would reject others before they had a chance to reject us.

Peace and Blessings

Eric Ease

11 thoughts on “SELF ACCEPTANCE

  1. And yet even when ( some) addicts are given unconditional love they still push you away. It’s hard you give your all put up with all the heart ache and it’s still not enough, because it never can be. Until the addict is ready to change and learn to love them selves they can never be in receipt of love. It’s not about the family or loved ones. My advice to them would be join NAR-ANON, and stop taking it on yourself to solve someone else’s problems. It’s heart breaking reallifemarti but we are taught it’s not our business. All we can do is keep loving them even if that has to be at a distance.

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    • True. The core of our disease is self centeredness. Unmanageability, powerlessness, loss of control, irrational thinking and actions are all symptoms of our disease. Addiction is fatal and incurable but it can be arrested. One day at a time with help and support and then recovery is possible. The addict has to want it and has to continue to do the work necessary. Not just say it but live it. Change is constant and continuous. Complacency and denial are killers of addicts. We will never be cured but with hard work on self change can be maintained.

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    • Thank you Karen. You are 100% right. Support groups are a must. Information is key in this battle. People must arm themselves with knowledge. Unfortunately with the stigma that is attached to addiction most people dont. They sweep it under the rug or turn their backs and thats sad. If the addict would have had cancer or another fatal diease families would do all they can. Addiction IS a disease. It affects the mind and people need to know about it.

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      • That was my argument with people all the time! I said no one would think twice if I was buying him drugs to get well…and therein lies the paradox! Because that is exactly what I was doing buying drugs to stop him feeling unwell ( or at least that’s what he told me) and yet enabling only adds to the disease- but I would think that is the logic behind many an enabler! 😊 thank you for sharing I would imagine it is difficult to face many of the truths you have faced in your journey. I thank god that you are tho and sharing your experience with us.

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        • You’re welcome Karen and thank you for sharing your story as well. You have opened my eyes to the other side of my addiction from the family and loved ones perspective. I appreciate you, your encouragement , strength and support. You are a winner in my book and I am grateful that you are on this journey with me. P.S. Great picture. I can finally put a face to my friend. Glad to see you. Peace and blessings.

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    • First I would let them know that, this is NOT the person you knew. Addiction is a self centered disease that makes you think of only one thing. The getting and using and finding ways and means to get more. I had no control over my addiction and my behaviors when under the influence. I would tell them not to lose hope because recovery is possible. I would tell them to continue to show love and support without enabling him/her. Nothing hurt me more than the feelings of abandonment and loneliness set in. I would also tell them to get informed there are support groups for family members of addicts. Al-ANON and NAR-ANON. Arm yourself with knowledge so you can begin to understand the hell it is to be caught up in the grips of addiction and what to watch out for. I would tell them to never ever give up hope.

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