A FEW SIMPLE SUGGESTIONS CHANGED MY LIFE


In my last post I wanted everyone to know that RECOVERY IS POSSIBLE. I wanted to let people who may be thinking that they cannot do this, to know that they can. That regardless of our individual circumstances WE can OVERCOME OUR ADDICTIONS.

When I first came into recovery I heard this same message and did not believe that it could work for me. I thought that I was damaged beyond repair. My lack of self esteem and self worth cast a gigantic shadow of self doubt that covered me and kept me stuck and fearful of attempting to really put forth the effort needed to change. I saw others recovering, I knew deep down inside that the program worked. I just didn’t believe that it would or could work for me. I came to the program broken, but long before I got clean I had fear of accomplishing things. I lived life hesitant of attempting anything for I knew that it would only end up in failure and disappointment. That I would only embarrass myself and cause myself even more heartache and pain than I was already feeling. I talked myself right out of ever trying to make my life better because of a false fear. A lie invented by myself to protect myself from feeling any more pain.

FEAR – FALSE EVIDENCE APPEARING REAL

FEAR – FORGET EVERYTHING AND RUN

FEAR – FACE EVERYTHING AND RECOVER.

It is amazing how I could sabotage myself without even trying. How I could allow myself to not even try something for fear of failure. How my addiction would have me believe that I am not worthy or capable of doing anything. The problem was with my thinking process and I had no idea until I came to recovery and started to learn some things about addiction and how it affects me. I always thought that drugs were my problem but I have learned that drugs are only a small portion of a bigger problem. The drugs were just a symptom of the disease of addiction that has been a part of my life long before I ever picked up. I knew for a long time that there was something wrong with the way I processed information and my thought patterns but I couldn’t fully understand what was going on. I still struggle with it today but I have gotten better and continue to progress. One Day At A Time.

I’VE HAD PLENTY OF PEOPLE SUGGEST THAT I NEEDED HELP BUT UNTIL I WAS READY IT DIDN’T MAKE A DIFFERENCE.

The first suggestion that was ever given to me was not from a person in recovery. It was suggested that I seek some kind of help. I didn’t receive that very well because I didn’t think I had a problem. I had been to treatment centers, jails and institutions and attended NA meetings. They would always suggest that I make a meeting as soon as I am released but I always went back to using soon after release. I didn’t take the suggestions and always paid for it in the long run. Even when I finally made it to meetings after years of procrastination I would pick and choose which suggestions I wanted to take. I still wanted to do things my way and I still got the same results. After a while I finally realized that I had to try something different and that is when things started to change.

HONESTY, OPEN MINDEDNESS AND THE WILLINGNESS TO CHANGE.

It took some time but I was finally ready to listen to others who had been down the same road and where living a different life. A better life. I wanted what they had and so they suggested some things for me to do in order to obtain that way of life. I was told in meetings to KEEP COMING BACK and so I did. I learned some things and made some changes to my daily routine. I began to feel comfortable enough to start sharing honestly about who I was and some of the things that I had been through. I was amazed at how many people had similar stories and could identify with me. I became willing to do the necessary work that everyone else was doing (Step work, reading literature). I got a sponsor to help guide me in the process because I don’t know everything like I think I do. I had to become open minded to new things and start to discard the old things that I was so used to doing. I had to be willing to live in the moment and not dwell on the past. I had to become a whole new person. I was reluctant at first but in time I began to see changes and wanted more so I started to take more suggestions and apply what I could to my life. I became able to ask others for help and not feel like I was weak or a sucker. The most important thing was IF I DON’T PICK UP I CAN’T GET HIGH.

I had to learn that street rules DO NOT APPLY IN RECOVERY. Everything that I thought I knew about life and living was wrong. I no longer believe in or live by the code of the street. I am learning to live by spiritual principles and how the apply them to my everyday life. I am far from perfect and I know I will never be. I still have my days where I just want to be left alone and do what I want to do. But I know that my way has gotten me years of pain, so it is time to put my plans to rest and live by a new set of plans. I am grateful for where I am today and where I am going. Life is so much better without the use of ANY DRUG.

No matter what I am feeling, thinking or going through I DO NOT HAVE TO USE. 

WITH THE WILLINGNESS TO FOLLOW A FEW SIMPLE GUIDELINES MY LIFE HAS CHANGED DRAMATICALLY.

8 thoughts on “A FEW SIMPLE SUGGESTIONS CHANGED MY LIFE

  1. Hey Eric, I just have to let you know, and also say thanks for all the “little” comments and tools you have shared, and how it confirmed many of my thoughts and actions, but hearing from you helped to cement it in.
    This morning in church our Pastor preached on addictions, as part of a “Trending” series. He spoke of many addictions, and about facing them. One of the things mentioned fit in with your recent comments on the voices an addict hears pro and con actively participating in whatever the addiction is. At the end of the service there was an opportunity for anyone with addictions to be prayed for. As part of the prayer team I had a privilege to pray for a young fellow with an addiction, who came forward. In prayer I also prayed and mentioned the voices, how the addiction voice, and the voice of the Holy Spirit both call.
    Also I mentioned, and your post today confirmed, to avoid going and doing things without a plan or purpose, to think of what he is going to do rather than put himself in a position of jeopardy where he could fall again. Thank you Eric as you continue to share, teach, confirm, affirm from your life and experiences. God’s Blessings.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Wow. I am truly honored. I really am blown away that my experiences are being helpful to others. George thank you so much for you comments have just lifted my spirit. I am grateful really and truly grateful that I am being of service to others through my blog. Your encouragement and support has just made my day. I will pray for that young man and all others as I normally do. Thank you again. Peace and blessings.

      Liked by 1 person

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