GOOD VS EVIL THE BATTLE ROYAL


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Addiction is a disease that affects my thinking. I have been under attack since early yesterday. It has been a onslaught of negative thoughts and voices due to some things that are going on in my life at the moment.

When I say that my addiction talks to me would you believe me or think I am crazy. People in recovery from active addiction know exactly what I am talking about. My addiction talks to me in a voice that is familiar to me, My own. Because my addiction is me. I was reminded of that earlier today by a friend. Thank you.

The minute a little something goes wrong I try to use that as a opening to tell myself that my fight is not worth it. That I should give up, That I cant overcome this situation, That I am wasting my time and I told you so. My addiction is me. My diseased thinking is me. It will always be with me. I will always have those thoughts pop up.

I know that I have to defend myself from myself. It sounds crazy, it sounds like I am two people inside of one. Well there is. Its the best way that I can describe it. Its the only way that I can make any sense of it. To me it’s a battle of sorts. It’s the Battle Royal.

GOOD VS EVIL

I have a choice which way I want to go. I can listen to those negative thoughts and voices in my head and go backwards. Back to a life of active addiction, pain, misery and suffering
OR
I can choose to expose those thoughts and voices and get some suggestions and support from people like me and get past the situations in a healthy manner and be able to live another day clean and serene.
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I CHOOSE EXPOSURE.

I choose to not allow myself to sabotage myself. I will not allow a couple of bad situations to turn into a series of bad decisions. I am grateful that I have a network of people in my support system and I higher power that I can lean on.

Storms WILL COME,
but they WILL also GO.

Peace and Blessings

Eric Ease

13 thoughts on “GOOD VS EVIL THE BATTLE ROYAL

  1. I AM SO GLAD YOU HAVE THE WILL DESIRE AND SUPPORT TO KEEP YOU SAFE, STAY UP MY BROTHER, I KNOW WHAT U MEAN ABOUT LETTING A NEGATIVE BE AN EXCUSE AS I DO IT SO GOOD FOR U U SHOW ME WHAT CAN BE DONE. PEACE AND LOVE

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I’m presently going through a storm.
    I’m applying everything I have learned in recovery to over come my
    issues. They are the death of my Sponsor and working a job that I hate. The principals of acceptance and surrender are in effect. I’m leaning heavily on God as well. I know everything will be alright.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Amen brother. This too shall pass. Leaning on God and using the principles of surrender and acceptance has proven to be very valuable. Sometimes its easier said than done but I have faith today that no matter what all will be well. Thank you for sharing and for your support and encouragement. Keep the faith.

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  3. I don’t thnk it sounds crazy at all. I too have that voice every time I get a call. My good voice telling me not to give in don’t enable don’t believe his lies, but it is still my weaker voice so I do believe I do enable and ultimately hurt my self and worse him by not being true to my programme and self. It is good that you understand it and fight it. As the others have said don’t feed it. I am guessing that it doesn’t matter what our individual addictions are, what steps we take to block that voice calling us, even if it’s days months or years between hearing it, it will always show its self at some point. We just have to recognise it and pray to our HP to ignore it. To focus on the good we have achieved and remind us of the place we were at before we started our journeys. You have come so far. You have overcome so much kick that voice to the kerb it has no place in your life. 😊

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  4. I know those two inner sides you are talking about. For me they are never equal, one gets bigger while the other is shrinking in the corner. I do my best to feed on, starve the other, only I need to remember that I have to feed that one before the other comes out of the corner. Before they get closer to equal, because as I said, equal doesn’t really exist.
    I’m glad you chose to shed some light on the one that ought to be starving in the corner.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Hey Eric, thank you for your honesty, and admitting that the road of life is not always smooth. I am proud of you, and proud to know you. I am thankful to your support team, how they are always available for you, as you are for them and others who are in need. Keep walking the road of an overcomer and victor.
    Praying for you my friend, and believing in you.

    Liked by 2 people

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