A couple of weeks ago I wrote a post called IF IT’S MEANT TO BE IT WILL BE. I was sharing about someone who I had gotten back in touch with from a couple of years ago and that we were talking again. Well needless to say that was a waste of time. Everything was good for a minute and just like the last time we attempted to hook up she sabotaged the relationship.
Last time she just disappeared with no explanation, wouldn’t respond to my voice mails nothing. So I decided to forgive and perhaps things will be different decided to give it another shot. I still hadn’t gotten closure to why she did what she did and really didnt care but part of me did want to know. Things seemed to be going good but deep down I knew something wasn’t right. I had a gut feeling and I couldn’t shake it. It just seemed too good to be true some of the things we were talking about and planning. I was having too many de ja vu moments.
So yesterday we were talking and all was good all day until I mentioned that I was checking out her Facebook page. Lol. I have to laugh because here’s where the bullshit comes in. I call later on and I sense an attitude so I ask what’s wrong. She proceeds to start questioning me about my friends and a post and I answer her. I call back later and now I am being accused of cheating and lying and all kinds of things…I’ve been there mind you in my last relationship which just ended Thanksgiving weekend. The same shit. WOW is an understatement.
Well I don’t need to tell you that
THAT SHIT IS OVER AND DONE WITH.
I am grateful that this happened early on and not when we had some time together like my last relationship.
I am saddened by my past attempts to find someone to be happy with. It would seem that my radar is broken. I get involved with the wrong people even now that I am clean. I think I will breathe easy for a while and stop searching for love in all the wrong places. I know who I am today and what I will and will not accept. I will not be subject to anyones false accusations and wild imagination. I will not allow anyone to steal my joy because they are fucking miserable.
THIS TOO SHALL PASS.
Peace and Blessings
Eric Ease
I find it refreshing that it’s not just women who do this…my co-workers make fun of me that I keep trying, and trying in a relationship that I know isn’t for me…if only…maybe…if only this or that…man I just don’t seem to learn…I have given up for the time being…I like being with ME!!!
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Lol. Oh its not just women. I have struck out more times than I care to mention but I continue to try. I guess for now I will apply the spiritual principal of surrender. I will surrender to win. I am pretty comfortable with me but I would love to find someone compatible to share me with. You know what I mean. Not too much to ask right. Lol.
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Well you would think it isn’t too much to ask for – and I’m sure like me, you aren’t expecting perfection….for the first time in a long time, I have lost my zip to even try…I took a look on a dating site and thought “he looks nice and has a nice profile” and then I thought “oh shoot, he’s probably lying” and it just seems like far too much work to see!! I think I’m in a funk cuz it’s rare for me to be a negative nellie….must be that I need to see the spring flowers come up…maybe my man will fall from the sky!!! One can hope??? can’t I???
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I pray for the flowers to hurry. I am in a funk myself. The gloomy cold winter among other things is taking a toll. This too shall pass. May we both find what we are looking for. A little ray of sunshine and happiness.
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Thanks – yes….lets look for a ray tomorrow!!
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Ok sounds good to me. 🙂
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Laughter is always good medicine – Ellen’s new show “repeat after me” is on in 10 minutes…I will laugh and get the brain chemicals going…take care.
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Lol. Yes it is. You do the same.
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Or you could try to change her! (just kidding). I totally relate to your post. I finally learned how to spot the signs early on and get out before more attachment and investment. And stopped hoping they would change, or that my love could help them become better. And I learned about projection and how things I am being (falsely) accused of are actually things they are doing. Namaste.
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Yes Exactly. Thank you Gloriad54. Thank you.
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That woman I adored 17 years ago wasn’t the same woman I flew to Atlanta to be with and help. 17 years of drinking and abusive men turned her into… I don’t know what. I guess it was time to let it go. Yes even this too will pass.
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Thanks Juan. I guess I was living in a fantasy world again. Yes it shall pass for sure.
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Ugh, the gut feeling……I try and ignore it but it’s always true and right in the end. I can SO relate to this! Thanks for sharing the insanity of sober dating. Indeed, this too shall pass my dear.
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Thank you for sharing the identification. I appreciate it. Knowing that I am not alone helps.
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