I can remember for a long time praying that I can move on to the next chapter of my life. I was sick and tired of being in the position that I was in and wanted to change. The only problem with that was I didn’t have a clue as to how to go about it. I wanted desperately to stop getting high actually I should call it using because it had been years since I really got high. All I was getting was paranoid.
Anyway the desperation began to turn into hopelessness when my life hadn’t changed. I would blame everything for my failures except myself. The real culprit. My life got no better because I kept doing the same things and knowing the results kept doing them anyway. I remember the anger because I was still stuck in the same rut year after year after year. I lost all hope of ever being anything but a useless, worthless addict. I would constantly degrade and belittle myself and I just settled for where I was at as being where I would stay and eventually die.
BOY WAS I WRONG.
I was so wrong. I am thankful today that I found the courage to ask for help. I understand today that I cannot do this alone. That I need people like me who understand what I am feeling and going through. Since I put down the ego and ask people for help when I don’t know or understand something my life has changed tremendously. With a little practice it has also become easier to ask for help especially knowing now that people WILL ACTUALLY HELP ME.
I have been blessed and I am truly grateful that I have finally turned the page and started this new and exciting chapter of my life. I will never underestimate the power and the unity that exist within the fellowship. This process saved my life and has given me unlimited opportunities to grow and become a better person.
I LOOK FORWARD TO MANY MORE NEW AND EXCITING CHAPTERS TO COME.
Peace and Blessings
Eric Ease
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As always, an excellent post I can relate to. I remember those days of worthlessness, hopelessness…. and I sure am grateful to no longer be living in that chapter of my life. Stay Blessed my friend
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Thanks Vicky. You too my friend.
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Eric, I am excited for you. Being new to recovery again is making me excited about everything again!! It’s a wonderful feeling! Like a baby experiencing everything for the first time! Life is wonderful again. Thank you for being a part of my joy in life!!
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Thank you Danielle. I am happy for you. Its a wonderful feeling being and staying clean. Continue to stay the course, so many more wonderful things are in store for you.
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Eric. Thank you so much for your words of encouragement. I have learned so much since reading your blog. You are a WINNER!!!!!!
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Thank you Maria. I appreciate your support and encouragement.
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Eric, this may sound silly, but I picture myself sitting in the sidecar of a motorcycle, as you ride it, and I am watching and learning and growing also. Thanks for the ride.
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Wow. Thanks George I actually pictured it in my mind as I was reading it. I appreciate your kind words and support. Have a great day.
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