YOU CAN KEEP THE DRAMA AND THE CONTROVERSIES

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You perception is not my reality.

Lately I’ve been subject to people’s projections and assumptions of me or how I am feeling. I can’t say this enough to those who seem to think they know me. You do not know me. I consider myself today to be a fairly honest person. I don’t try to sugar coat my dislike for something just for the sake of not offending someone because that would make me a phoney. I will not say that I am something that I am not. If I say that I am happy, sad or angry then thats what I am.

I really dislike people who hear me say something and then come up with their own interpretation of what I said and run with their version as if it is fact.
I understand that some people love to create problems where there are none. I know quite a few people who cant seem to live without being  surrounded by drama and controversies. I am not that kind of person and I choose not to surround myself with people who are.

For those that know me, you know that I lived that life. Drama and controversies followed me everywhere I went. I was a very angry and downright miserable person to be around.
THAT WAS THEN
I am no longer stuck in that frame of mind. I have found freedom and I meditate on that peace and serenity daily. I have found a way out of that mess and I plan on staying out of it. I am content with my new way of life and this journey suits me fine.

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If you are about that life, I can only distance myself from you because I refuse to be drawn into that again. I am better off alone than with those few miserable ass people. So I will say GOODBYE to you. I wish you all the best. I truly do.

I AM RESPONSIBLE FOR MY HAPPINESS.

Peace and Blessings

Eric Ease

MY CLEAN DATE 10/26/13

I was thinking today about my struggle to get and stay clean and I found this post in my drafts. I made a short list of every time I came back into recovery since the first time I tried to get clean back in 2011. There are some dates missing but this will give you a general idea of how I struggled.

I decided to share it with everyone because I just want you to know that although it was not easy for me to get clean.

I NEVER GAVE UP TRYING.

JUST FOR TODAY BY GOD’S GRACE I HAVE 1 YEAR, 4 MONTHS AND 1 DAY CLEAN.

If you are feeling like you cannot get clean, take it from me YOU CAN DO IT. Just never quit trying. I felt the same way. My road was long and hard. It is still hard but it has gotten a lot easier since I stopped using. I am grateful to all those who stuck by me and are still standing by me today. I could never have made it this far without you.

Thank you.

January 21, 2011
May 5, 2011
November 2, 2011
October 16, 2012
April 5, 2013
May 18, 2013
July 19, 2013
August 9, 2013
August 23, 2013
August 30, 2013
October 19, 2013
October 26, 2013

The struggle is real, getting clean was the best thing that has ever happened to me. I have been blessed to live 2 life’s in 1.

My mission is to give back what was so freely given to me. One day at a time.

Peace and Blessings

Eric Ease

GOOD INTENTIONS

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Saying I meant to stop by to see you when you was in the hospital is useless. Compared to actually going to visit.

I was good for saying what I was going to do..Should have, could have, would have but didn’t. I’ve never been a good friend, I was too busy being self centered. I thought too much about myself and could care less about others. I missed out on being there for family and friends time and time again.

Today I do things differently. Today I am there for others. But even more importantly I am there for them without looking for something in return. Today my intentions are truly good and not rooted in self centeredness. I’m not looking for a payoff or a pat on the back. I do it because I can and because I can.

I realize that a simple act of kindness can make someone’s day.

It did for me.

Peace and Blessings

Eric Ease

BECAUSE I’M HAPPY. LOL

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Life On Life’s terms.

My day to day existence has it’s ups and downs. Life is just that way. No day will always be good but It doesn’t have to be labeled a bad day.

I used to wonder why everyone else seemed so happy and I was always so miserable. I’ve come to realize that happiness is an inside job. I cannot find it in you, for me. And you cannot find it in me, for you. I stopped searching for happiness and happiness found me. It came from me being ok with me.

DON’T JUDGE A BOOK BY ITS COVER

I love my life today. I am content with where I am, who I am and what I am doing. I don’t need material things to make me happy. I have learned to be satisfied with the little things. I cannot complain about a damn thing right now. I roll with the punches.

Where I came from, to where I am today is all part of something that is way bigger than me. I’ve  made it this far and look forward to the journey ahead.

Peace and Blessings

Eric Ease

I AM ME. WHO ARE YOU?

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I am what I am.

I am not what you want me to be.

If people cannot accept me for who I am. I have learned to exercise my options and leave them alone. I do not have to put up with anyone’s unnecessary bullshit today. I am not who I used to be. Wanting to fit in and belong so bad that I sacrificed my happiness. I know how to separate today and I will when I am uncomfortable.

I DON’T DO DRAMA

NOT TODAY.

Peace and Blessings

Eric Ease

YOU CAN ONLY GIVE SUGGESTIONS

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I am in recovery and although my way has gotten me nothing but heartache and pain. I appreciate your support but I do not need you to try to tell me what to do. I am not your child. I will accept a suggestion but not in the form of a command or an order.

Remember its not what you say…

IT’S HOW YOU SAY IT!

Peace and Blessings

Eric Ease

I DIDN’T BELIEVE THAT I COULD EVER STOP

I didn’t know then what I know now.
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I thought back then that I was going to die an addict. Truth is I didn’t even know I was an addict. I just thought I used too much drugs. I lied to myself constantly saying I could stop anytime I wanted to I just didn’t want to stop. The truth was revealed to me when I tried to stop and found out that I couldn’t. I realized a pattern developing where as the only way I could stop was to either get arrested or go into treatment. After several years on institution hopping I was beatin to a point of utter exhaustion. I was clueless as to what to do and was ready to end my life rather than continue living the way I was. I had hit rock bottom again, but this bottom was different.

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I felt different. I felt like a hand was pulling me up. There was a whisper at the back of my mind trying to tell me something. Then one day in a state of utter desperation it hit me. “Remember those meetings you made while you was away” That seed that was planted oh so long ago began to grow. I found a way out. I just had ti get there.

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I made it to my first meeting without the help of a parole officer in January of 2011. I was scared at first and wouldn’t share but people welcomed me and I eventually became comfortable enough to let people know who I was. I struggled with staying but I kept coming back and soon enough I was able to stay and begin the life saving process. I remember my last run and do not wish to repeat it. I take my recovery seriously today and do the work that is suggested in order to maintain my freedom from active addiction.

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Today I am willing to do whatever it takes to stay in the now and live one day at a time. I am learning how to stay in the moment and not in the past. I revisit my past and then keep it moving. I no longer stay stuck in self pity, self destruct mode because I am wallowing over some shit that was done years ago. Letting go of the past is helping me to have hope for a brighter future.

A FUTURE I NEVER DREAMED POSSIBLE.

Peace and Blessings

Eric Ease