I don’t know what the Fuck is wrong with me. Every day I say I’m going to stop and by the end of the day I go and pick up. I swear I feel at times that I would be better off dead. I am so fucking depressed and so fed up with the way my life is going. I know that I need to make meetings and I keep saying tomorrow, tomorrow never comes. I have to turn this around before I go insane and just give up. I don’t want to give up. I want to live. I need help.
Today is friday. Another trigger day for me. I know what needs to ne done but I’m caught up in the grips of my addiction. This Shit is killing me. Ughh. Why me. I’m feeling the self pity, the loneliness, not worthy of a good life…

Hello My name is Nam. I just wanted to post this and say Hello to anyone who maybe reading this.
Welcome to Eric’s Daily Struggle.
I should start off by saying that my blog is called Eric’s Daily Struggle because at the present time I am having a difficult time staying clean. The reason I call it daily struggle is because I know that my struggle will be lifelong. I have used and abused drugs for more than 3 quarters of my life and to think quitting is going to be easy would be a tragedy worse than the life I have lived thus far.
I know that this is a life long battle and that scares me. I have never been able to stick and stay consistent with anything but using. Will I be able to do it? That has yet to be seen. So far this year I…