OMG. 8 DEGREES.
I am so not used to the cold weather. I have lived in NYC all my life and every year I go through the same thing. I complain when its too hot and I complain when it’s too cold. Lol.
Anyway I have to be thankful that I am able to feel the weather and notice change today. I am grateful for warm clothes, a roof over my head, food and heat and hot water. I remember all too well the days when I did not have anything. When I was living in a abandon bldg with no running water. Wearing the same clothes for weeks, Hell let’s keep it real for MONTHS. I remember being outside in weather like this trying to find the next hit, or trying to scrape up enough money to buy another one. I remember freezing my ass off but it didn’t matter because I hadn’t scored my drugs yet so I remained where I was at, hoping someone would give me something or spare me some change. I remember going to the soup kitchens so I could have a hot meal. I remember sleeping on the train or on rooftops. I REMEMBER.
I woke up this morning with a new found sense of gratitude. Not just for where I am today but also for where I am not today. I have been blessed and shown much mercy and grace. I was brought back to life from a near death experience that unfortunately still so many people are suffering from. I have been spared and I am determined not to allow that to EVER happen to me again. I will not sleep the fact that I have a disease that would rather have me dead or at least still living that life. I will not forget that my disease wishes I was out there right now freezing and suffering. I will not forget because those who forget are doomed to repeat. And trust me that is not just a slogan, THAT IS THE TRUTH. I HAVE EXPERIENCED IT FIRST HAND. You can and will be refunded all of your pain, misery and suffering.
SO I REMEMBER. AND I ALSO LET YOU REMEMBER.
This is not a game, I am not in this for a little while…You know until I get a apartment or some other materialistic want. I am in this because my life depends on it. I would be, and will be dead without it.
I am praying for ALL THOSE who are without today and everyday. I pray that you find a warm safe place to be at and that your life gets better in this new year. Stay strong. It does get better, there is a way out, Keep the faith.