I can honestly say that I am at peace right now. For this serenity I am truly grateful.

For the longest time I have been trying to sort through the noises in my head. There has been a steady stream of craziness ever since I can remember. The constant racing of thoughts and visions was enough to drive me insane. To top it off the paranoia from smoking crack for what seems like forever didn’t help at all. It really made me begin to believe that I was going bat shit crazy.

I never thought that I would live to see the day where I would be able to slow it down. To actually be able to make sense of the madness. I truly believed that all hope of that ever happening was lost. Especially since I seemed to attract people who have their own madness going on. You see my addictive behaviors runs so deep that I would get addicted to your madness and adopt it as my own. Double jeopardy. Double insanity.

I have been learning so much about myself in this past year I am astounded and somewhat amazed at how it has been helping me to be able to think just a little bit more clearly. I am gaining confidence and my self esteem is climbing. I am feeling so much better about myself and I have gained some clarity and direction.

My thoughts although still clearly not right at times have been a lot more positive the last couple of weeks. I am feeling a sense of peace that I have never experienced before. I know that I am going to to be alright. I truly believe that today. All I can say is if this is what being in recovery has done for me in just over a year. I cannot wait to see what else is in store. I’m Grateful to my Higher Power for everything that is happening, has happened and will happen.