In life we will have our ups and downs.
I have learned that no matter what happens I DONT HAVE TO USE. I remember when I first came into recovery and I heard the slogan. If you don’t pick it up, you can’t get high. I couldn’t understand that. I didn’t know how NOT to pick it up. No matter what life tossed my way I used. I stub my toe, I USED, if it was raining, snowing, cold or hot I USED. If I was happy, sad, mad or glad I USED. It didn’t matter what the situation was I USED.
It took some time, some questions, taking a couple of suggestions, a couple of relapses and some more pain, misery and suffering but eventually I was able to not pick it up. It took some acceptance of who and what I was. That I had a problem and I could not do it on my own. It took some honesty to be able to admit that I had a problem, and some open mindedness to try something new, It took some practice of some principles, and commitment to continue to live this new way of life. It took some time and It took some surrender of doing things my way, and some trust in others who have been down this road before me. It took some courage to continue even when every fiber of my being wanted to give up. It took some strength to not pick up even when my world seemed to be crumbling around me.
IT TOOK SOME WORK. NO ONE COULD or CAN DO IT FOR ME.
It took me to make a decision on whether I wanted to live or die. I choose to live.
It is one day at a time process and it takes some time. It is not a race nor is it a competition. The only person I need to be better than is the person I was yesterday. I am thankful that I took the suggestion to give myself a break. It was the best thing I could have ever done. I know that I will never be cured and I will have to live in the solution for the rest of my life. I will continue to do the next right thing and live…