GROWING UP AGAIN.


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Growing up my parents always made sure we were self sufficient. They were very protective of us and made sure we followed the rules. Rules that were meant to keep us safe and to help us to grow up to be responsible and productive citizens. I was raised to respect my elders and people in general. We were brought up to live by a certain code of ethics instilled in us by our parents. We were taught how to read, write, wash clothes, cook, do laundry and all other things in order to survive. My parents raised all 3 of their boys to become men. I love my parents.

Somewhere along the way I lost that. I began to stray away from doing whats right and began to flirt with doing what I knew deep down was wrong. The more I got away with, the more attracted to it I became and the more I did it. Until finally that was my new code of ethics. Before long I was mixed up with what people always seem to call: THE WRONG CROWD. Growing up I didn’t feel like I belonged anywhere but I felt right at home with the wrong crowd. Go figure. I was a misfit who fit right in..Or so I thought. I have been dealing with low self-esteem and low self worth which in turn caused me to display self-destructive behaviors. I did things to fit in. Always wanting to be liked by others. Little did I know then that

IT WAS A VERY HIGH PRICE TO PAY TO LIVE SO LOW.

Today i still struggle with self esteem, and other issues but at least I am beginning to get an understanding of me. I am not running away from my feelings today. Thanks to my higher power, the process of the fellowship, my network and my willingness to change, to grow and to finally start a new chapter.

I am getting better. One day at a time.

4 thoughts on “GROWING UP AGAIN.

  1. growing up I wasn’t taught much,except to stay away from the violence.but I still have problems with trusting people,fear at times,some issues with my family that ever seem to get resolved.but I still liive a day at a time,certain steps are part of my foundation.the honesty in your blog is helping us all.thanks Eric,you too Vicki!!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you Adele. I appreciate your comment and support. You are right one day at a time is all we can live by. Its hard at times but it is doable. Thank you for sharing and I am grateful that my blog is helping people. That means the world to me.

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  2. I can so relate to this blog. I too was brought up the same way and then lost my way, started doing wrong things, getting into trouble, eventually landing in NYSDOCS twice. I played sports in high school. My school played against Albion High School and then years later I found my self living behind the big barbed wire of Albion Correctional Facility wondering where it all went wrong. Definitely “high price for living low”! I’m grateful to be back to living on the right path. Grateful for friends like you Eric! I’m still dealing with low self-esteem and working on forgiving myself. I can now forgive others & never seek revenge anymore but self-forgiveness is a struggle. Thanks for always sharing something I can relate too!

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    • You’re welcome Vicky. It always amazes me how similar we all are. I remember when I used to think that no one would understand what I have been through. I am so grateful to the rooms and for this blog because it helps me to remember that I am not alone. I am grateful for friends like you and thank you for always showing support and love. I am grateful also that my blog helps not only myself but others too.

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