Its beginning to look a lot like Christmas.
I love this time of year. Especially in New York, the city is always alive and somethings always going on but the holiday season is a very grand time of the year.
I love all the lights. The houses that are decorated, the trees with the lights intertwined with the branches and of course the Christmas tree at Rockefeller Center. New York is to me, the best place to be at Christmas time.
I will be spending Christmas with my new family in recovery. As you already know I am estranged from my family at this time. Things are not going to change and feelings wont be healed overnight. I know it takes time, I have patience and I pray that one day we will all be together again.
If not then that is out of my control. If its gods will it shall be done. If not then it wont. Today I am not going to bend over backwards, die or go and use because someone is no longer in my life. I’ve come this far without people and i will continue to move forward. I am responsible for my happiness, for my recovery and for my life.
Some people come into my life for a reason and others come for a season. Some people come into my life and contribute to my goal of bettering myself and others come and try to destroy and tear me down and cause drama. No matter the situation I am thankful. I learn something new about people every day.
Some things never change and some people refuse to change, the difference is TODAY I don’t have to accept nobody’s bullshit. Today i choose to be happy even if I have to be happy alone. I have learned that it’s ok, because true happiness comes from inside of me not from someone else. So I choose to be happy. I am and will remain happy. I do not need anyone to make me happy. I am grateful for the process of recovery because if there is nothing else I have learned, I have learned that today I have choices. My life right now is great and things will only get better as long as I stay in the moment, stay in the process, stay away from negative, do nothing, go nowhere people and continue to live my life like I am. Free to be me.