First things first.
I wish everyone a happy, healthy and safe Holiday Season. Please enjoy responsibly.
This time of the year is particularly hard for people in recovery. My brain tends to focus on 2 things. Either I am reminded of celebrating the holidays with friends, drinks and drugs or I am wallowing in self pity because of missing my family and wishing I was with them.
I have found out that my thinking is upside down at times. Thinking about celebrating with friends, drinking and using drugs always turned disastrous in the end. But if I allow it my brain will only playback the so called ” GOOD TIMES”.
The reality is there were no good times. Using ALWAYS brings me to my knees. The downward spiral will ALWAYS return. In the end the downward spirals returned quicker and quicker each time that I made the wrong decision to return to using. (Relapsed). The thing is once you know this you have to do certain things in order to be able to fight those thoughts.
You know the thoughts I am talking about.
The one’s that say:
“I can use successfully”
“I can smoke, sniff or drink just one”
“I am not sick”
“Don’t worry no one will know”
“I don’t need THOSE people”
The fact of the matter is.
The disease of addiction is tricky. It will play on my thoughts when I am most vulnerable. Like when I am daydreaming about the GOOD TIMES or feeling sad, depressed and lonely.
THE TRUTH IS:
There is no successful use of drugs.
I cannot smoke, sniff or drink just one.
I am sick. (I have a disease called addiction).
I will know. (Because I am responsible for my recovery. Not anyone else).
I do need other people. (I cannot do this alone).
So I protect myself even more during the Holiday Season. There are a lot of triggers to set me off and I know that I need to be extra vigilant. I suit up with the tools of the recovery process. What works for me is being around others that are like me. I make meetings. I talk about how I feel. I utilize my sponsor and others in my network. IT IS VERY IMPORTANT TO HAVE A NETWORK! I read literature. I do step work. I post in my blog. Yes my blog is a tool for my recovery.
I can’t keep it. Unless I give it away.
And all of these things have been working for me. I am thankful to be a person in recovery. It has changed my life tremendously. I would’ve died out there had I not been led to recovery and people need to know that.
RECOVERY WORKS IF YOU WORK IT.
SO WORK IT. BECAUSE YOU ARE WORTH IT!!!
THERE IS LIFE AFTER DRUGS.