I remember the days of starvation.
The days when smoking crack was more important than eating. When all my money went to drinking and drugging. When sleep was something that my cat did. Hours upon hours, days upon days of using. No rest for the weary. Chasing after a high that I would never be able to catch. You can never, never ever get higher that the first one. But the addict in me just wouldn’t believe that. I had to keep trying. I had to prove them wrong.
Well I was the one that was wrong. It’s true and it’s also true that your body will shut down if you are not taking proper care of yourself.
I have been blessed to have escaped any major medical issue as a result of my drug addiction. I have been blessed to be able to have medical insurance and get check ups today. It is very important for addicts to stay on top of our health now that we are not using.
I have also been blessed with my appetite back and I say that to say. I have packed on a few extra pounds since getting clean. I have an addiction to sweets. ( I always did. But now I can afford to buy them). I know that I am substituting sometimes and that I stuff my face because I am stuffing my feelings. I know that this isn’t healthy and that I need to get this in check. I know all these things but I still continue to do it.
Addiction is deeper than the use of drugs. I have an addictive personality. I will get better with it. I share it to put it out there so others are aware too.
Gotta hit the gym.