PLUGGED INTO THE PROGRAM

Good morning everyone.

I thank the God of my understanding for EVERYTHING.

I have to share some gratitude right now. I am so grateful that I have finally plugged into this process of recovery. You have no idea. Not to long ago I didn’t think I would ever be able to stay clean. I kept relapsing and couldn’t stay focused on the process of recovery to save my life. I was ready to give up. I had lost all hope of ever staying clean. Just when I thought my life would be jails, institutions and eventually death God saw fit to give me another chance. I am thankful for the opportunity and I am taking full advantage of it.

This month I am learning what this process is really all about. I am doing things that I have never done before. I am doing service in groups. I have several commitments and it feels good to give back. I am doing stepwork and that also makes me feel good. But what really makes me feel a part of is that I am sharing my experience,  strength and hope. Since making 90 days I have been asked to share 5 times already. 3 90 day panels and it is a honor.

I am truly grateful because for a long time the only thing people asked me to do was to get away from them or never talk to them again. Today people want me around.  They want to hear from me and they want me to keep coming back and that in itself is amazing. Not only amazing but it makes me realize that I am not useless,  worthless nor hopeless. I have a purpose.

Tomorrow I will be leading a anniversary for a group that is celebrating 27 years and I am again honored. Who would’ve thought that I would be asked to do anything so great.  Just for today I have 113 days clean and I look forward to many more. I am loving the way I am feeling and the things I am doing. I am beginning to learn to love myself and others as well.

I am experiencing a whole new side of life. A life that I have missed out on for way too long. Today I believe that I can live without the use of any mind or mood altering substance. I know that this process can and will work for me as long as I stay in position.

Thanks for letting me share.

Eric At Ease.

THE LIGHT FINALLY SWITCHED ON

Hello friends.

I thank God for his guidance and for bringing me to a place of gratitude. I am truly grateful for all he has done for me, is doing for me and will do for me.

I can say with all honesty that the lights have FINALLY switched on. I am finally getting it through my thick scull that drugs don’t work. That I can actually live life without the use of drugs.

For along time I struggled with not using.  I’ve tried countless way to adjust or do it another way. Everything I tried failed It always led to destruction, dereliction and despair. No matter what I tried.  How many lies I told myself the end results were always the same. Ive come to the realization after many unsuccessful attempts that I cannot win. That there is only one way drugs take me and that is down.

I have finally surrendered. I always thought surrender was for suckers and that I would never give up. But drugs have thoroughly whipped my ass. They have brought nothing but pain and misery and I am done.

Just for today, If you don’t pick up you cant get high and the rest of the slogans finally make sense. They use to just fly over my head. I was unable to grasp the simplicity of it until now. I am learning to take it easy and not over think things. Im tired of complicating the process when it is so simple. 

Today I can accept suggestions and follow directions. I am open minded and willing to do whatever it takes not to return to the degradation and despair which was my life for so long. Thank God for the fellowship and all the people who support and inspire me.

Thank God the light FINALLY SWITCHED ON.

Thanks for allowing me to share.

Grateful recovering addict

Eric Ease 105 days clean.

Empathy
Acceptance
Surrender
Everyday