Good evening everyone
I am starting to form the habit of thanking the God of my understanding for everything. I am also starting to pray during the day and not just in the morning and evening. I am trying to establish a solid foundation with my higher power.
Iam also starting to share my feelings and thoughts not just the surface stuff but gut level and as honest as I can. Honesty is not easy for me being a liar all my life but I am making a effort and that’s a start.
I have heard it said that if I want what the experienced members have I have to do what the experienced members do. So I have been modeling my recovery after a few members who’s recovery I admire. I am feeling confident that as long as I follow the few simple guidelines of the fellowship that I too can recover. I am willing to do the work necessary.
I am working towards another 90/90 and I have 37 days back in the process. Gratitude is felt whenever I make meetings because I know it didn’t have to be this way. I keep that fact up front. I hear the stories every day of people who do not make it back. Just for today I do not want to be one of them. I am thankful for the people who stood by me and continue to support me in my efforts at staying clean.
I finally understand what they mean when they say you are only as sick as your secrets. And that you should have at least one person that you can feel comfortable enough with to reveal the real you. I am building relationships today and have such a person in my network. For this I am truly grateful.
Thank you for letting me share and thank you for being on this journey with me.
Peace and Blessings